


Spades Slick's New Troll

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck, Problem Sleuth - Fandom
Genre: Petstuck, Stabdad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-04
Updated: 2012-12-27
Packaged: 2017-11-17 23:05:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/554189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slick's on his way back to the hideout when he runs into a little abandoned troll.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I have a lot to credit here because I'm really unoriginal whoops. So the Petstuck thing began with Unwanted Free Ugly Troll (http://archiveofourown.org/works/477092/chapters/827980), and headcanons and the design for trolls also came from Loophole (http://archiveofourown.org/works/527502/chapters/934074), and then Stabdad (http://archiveofourown.org/works/236081) which has been my favorite AU for god knows how long. So now two of my favorite AUs mixed together because I tend to do that sort of thing.
> 
> If the creators of these things I'm writing fanfiction for (AU of an AU of an AU of an AU???) aren't cool with this I'll be fine with taking it down, just let me know omg also I apologize in advance. (If not there is sure to be more chapters because hell yes.)

Slick didn't know if there was a higher diety or not, nor did he care; all he knew was if there was, he wanted to slowly torture it to death.

His shoes made disgusting sloshing noises as each hurried step carried him closer to his destination. The rain dumped down onto his already soaked suit, now dripping with rainwater. The brim of his hat sagged downwards, no longer protecting his face and soaking his shell. His foot splashed into a puddle and slipped out from under him. When his back connected with the concrete, a loud "oof" escaped his throat and he lied there, his arms and legs splayed out awkwardly as all the air drifted out of his lungs. He stumbled to his feet, taking in deep, forced breaths as he started again towards the hideout.

"I fuckin' swear, Droog is DEAD when I get there--" Slick vowed as he fled across the street. He stopped to catch his breath, his hands pressed to his knees and heaving air in and out. He was getting too goddamn old for this, as much as he hated to admit it. Also, smoking probably didn't do him much good--he barely had any wind at all, anymore. Fuck it, just fuck it all.

He looked up at his surroundings as he struggled for oxygen. Nobody was on the street. Who would be, out in the pouring rain at god knows what time? Spades Slick, that was who, and he wouldn't have been if it weren't for the for Droog driving off without him. He took slow steps onward, determined to get back to the hideout before the crew left. As he leaned against a building by a dark alleyway for a moment, he felt something cling to his leg.

His first instinct was to kick it away, then look to see what it was. Stab first, ask questions later, right? Wait, no, that wasn't right--

On the ground lay a tiny creature, black hair matted on a tiny head, that of likely a toddler, if it weren't for the tiny, nubby, orange horns protruding from its head. The sickly gray skin was soaked and water ran down its face. It looked up at Slick from the ground due to being kicked away, its cat-like pupils thin as toothpicks and trained on Slick, prepared to kill him the moment he came close. It bared its teeth, and although it seemed as if it was going to back away, it stood up and wrapped its arms around his leg again.

"Fuck. Uh." Slick lifted his leg, hoping the troll would let go, but it took fistfulls of his pants and stepped its tiny, cat-like paws onto his shoe, being lifted with no trouble at all. Slick waved his leg a little, but it still hung on, pressing its face into his leg. "What the hell do you want, little shit?"

It didn't say anything, which Slick honestly preferred. It was weird having a little animal thing talk back to you, a thing that was meant to be a pet.

"Look, I have to go. Get off." Slick waved his leg again, but it clung close to him, refusing to release him. "Let go!"

"Nuh-uh!" The troll screeched as Slick kicked and stomped to get it off.

Slick bent over--damn, his back was still sore--and tried to pry it off. It continued to cling to him, its hair rising up and a hiss escaping its throat. This thing was strong, and absolutely refused to let go of Slick's leg.

"Ugh. Goddammit." Slick set his foot down and stared down the street. He wasn't too far away from the hideout now. He shook his head, a low growl rumbling in his throat before he carried on, limping with the weight of the tiny troll clinging to his leg.

He opened the manhole of the hideout and began climbing down the ladder. Chatter stopped when they probably saw the troll on his leg, but Slick didn't say anything until he reached the floor after sliding the cover back in place and turned to face the crew.

"It wouldn't let go." Slick announced, the both of them sopping wet, cold, miserable, and hating the others' presence.

"Awww!" Deuce exclaimed, running to the troll and kneeling down to see it closer. The troll slid behind Slick's leg, still clinging as if its life depended on it. "What's your name, little guy?"

"Karkat." The troll squeaked hesitantly.

"Do you have a home?" Deuce asked, taking Karkat from Slick's leg and leading him to the center of the hideout, picking him up awkwardly due to similarity in height and placing him on the chair he always sat in.

"No." Karkat answered simply. No explanation, no story. Just "no".

"I'm gonna go get you a towel. And maybe I have some of Sollux's clothes here that'll fit you... something he's outgrown or something..." Deuce ran off into his room of the hideout, a complete mess of a room where he tossed things he'd either only need for work or things he didn't need in his house. Sollux was Deuce's troll, a yellowblood sold for a measely $50 for the defect in his eyes. Red and blue eyes weren't something typically found cute to the masses, it seemed.

"So how did you find... Karkat?" Droog asked quietly after approaching Slick. "He doesn't even seem to like you."

"I was running back after you left me at the goddamn club and when I stopped to rest, he started clinging to me and wouldn't let go." Slick muttered exhaustedly.

"I suppose he needed a hospitable place that badly." Droog stared at Karkat, seemingly in wonder. He rose his voice for Karkat to hear. "Karkat, how long have you been without a home? Where is your old owner?"

Karkat stared back at Droog. "A while."

Droog repeated the last question. "Where is your old owner?"

Karkat squeezed his tail in his hands, then looked back to Deuce's door, his mouth not even opening to answer the question.

When Deuce emerged, he had a black towel in one hand and some of Sollux's old clothes in the other. Karkat winced away from Deuce, but he was quickly scooped up into the towel and rubbed dry. When an effort was made to get dry clothes on him, Karkat hissed and bared his teeth, backing away defensively with his hair rising.

"Karkat, you're still wet in those clothes--"

"These are _mine,_ " he growled. He was in little black pants with a hooded gray cloak, looking more like a costume than normal clothes. Deuce whimpered slightly, unsure of what to do.

"It'll only be for an hour or something while your clothes dry." Deuce assured.

Karkat shook his head violently. "Mine."

Deuce looked back at the rest of the crew, unsure of what to do. Droog stepped forward, kneeling down in front of the chair to stare directly at Karkat with his cold, blank expression.

"Karkat. You must change into these clothes just for one hour." He said, holding up one finger. "That's all."

"An hour's forever." Karkat grumbled, wringing at his tail.

"It won't be a long time. Slick can take you to his house and he'll give you some food and time will pass." Droog assured, his tone quiet and soothing now.

"Why MY house? I'm not taking care of a damn troll!" Slick argued. "I hate trolls, they're all little shitheads--"

"Slick will take you to his house." Droog continued, more directed towards Slick than Karkat.

"You're expecting me to take care of a fucking troll. I don't know how to take care of trolls! I can take care of a dog if I wanted, but not a TROLL." Slick stomped at the floor before turning back to the ladder. "I'm going home."

"I'll drive you home if you take Karkat." Droog said as he stood, turning to Slick as he took hold of the ladder.

"I can walk home!"

"It's raining and your house is at least a mile from here. You don't want to walk home."

Slick growled and turned back to Droog. "Alright. For one goddamn night only."

****  
"Karkat!" Slick called, gripping the clothes Deuce had given him to change Karkat into. "Karkat, where are you?"

No response.

Slick heaved a deep sigh and tiptoed through his house, listening closely. Karkat may have had an advantage, being small and stealthy, but Slick had his own advantage. He'd been sneaking around and searching for years, plus this was HIS house. He knew exactly every place a troll could be hiding. It wouldn't be long before he'd find the little bastard.

He slowly crept into the kitchen, mindful of his shoes gently tapping on the tiled floor. He froze when he saw a gray tail with red fur on the end. He never noticed until now that he was a redblood, and he was just about to consider whether or not that was possible when a small gray hand reached out and pulled it back into the cabinet beneath the sink. "Gotchya," Slick said under his breath as he eased himself to the table for support to slip off his shoes.

Once they were off and on the tabletop, Slick was able to move toward the cabinet a lot faster and quieter, steps muffled by his socks. Once he reached it, he slowly placed his fingers on the door before tearing it open and yanking Karkat out of the cabinet.

"NO!" Karkat screeched, clawing at the wood to get back inside. "NO NO NO NO NO NO!"

"Stop squirming!" Slick yelled back as he struggled to keep Karkat in his arms. Karkat twisted around and his teeth scraped at Slick's shell. He winced in surprise rather than pain when Karkat's teeth sunk much further into his shell than he expected. "That's not getting you anywhere, you little bastard!"

"Hgrrrrgghh." Karkat growled, trying to say something but with his teeth in Slick's shell, his speech was incomprehensible.

"Let me change your goddamn clothes!" Slick screamed in frustration, but as Karkat continued to squirm, Slick lost hold of his lower half. Karkat gripped onto his other arm, his teeth still sunk into Slick's shell.

The sound of Slick's home phone ringing filled the room as Karkat growled and kicked at Slick, gripping his arm tightly. Slick waved him around, trying to get him off now, but when he refused, he just walked to the end of the kitchen and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"It's Droog." Droog's voice spoke from the receiver. "How's it going with Karkat?"

"It's going just _fine,_ " Slick hissed into the phone through his teeth. "You know, just biting me and hanging from my arm and--ow!!--KICKING me, that sort of thing. Exactly how I pictured my evening."

"Have you given him anything to eat, yet?"

"He won't even let me change his clothes yet!"

"Give him something to eat first. Do you have troll food?"

"Oh, yeah, of course I do. My house is just FILLED with it. Who cares if I don't even want to own a troll? I just always keep it on hand, anyway!"

"Don't give him too much of anything that isn't troll food, or he'll get sick." Droog said dully, not even bothered by Slick's sarcasm. "That'll calm him down, at least."

"Ow, Jesus Christ!!" Slick screamed when Karkat kicked him again. "Alright, yeah, I'll just give him some rat poison, that'll calm him right down. OW!!"

Slick instantly heard a click and the dial tone. He slammed the receiver back down and stomped to the pantry, grabbing the first thing he saw. Karkat hissed and kicked the whole way as Slick pulled out a jar of peanut butter and dropped it on the counter.

"Here. Peanut butter." Slick muttered, trying to pry Karkat off his arm. "Let go!"

Karkat stared at the peanut butter, his jaw loosening as his interest in the brown jar grew. Once Slick was finally able to pry Karkat off his arm and drop him on the counter next to the peanut butter, he began looking around for something else, maybe bread to put the peanut butter on or something, but Karkat seemed content with forcing the jar open and dipping his hand right into it, pulling out a fistfull and shoving it in his mouth. He smacked loudly and licked his lips, grimacing at how it stuck to his mouth and hand. All the while, though, despite his troubles in actually getting the peanut butter down his throat, his cat-like pupils dialated wide into perfect circles.

Slick laughed at Karkat rather than getting any bread. "Jesus Christ, kid, that's the stupidest thing I've seen you do so far."

Slick tried to take the peanut butter away so he'd stop shoving fistfulls of it in his mouth, but Karkat clinged to it with both his arms and legs, continuing to fill his mouth with it despite his continual trouble with swallowing it. Slick settled for simply watching him smack on the peanut butter, with difficulty but contented. He remembered Droog's warning about not letting him have too much, but it was just peanut butter. Or maybe that made it worse. How was he supposed to know what trolls ate? He knew dogs ate peanut butter (and it was hilarious to watch them eat it--not that he'd know, especially not after watching several videos of scotty dogs over and over again, definitely not), but he had no idea about trolls.

His thoughts were interrupted by Karkat beginning to cough. He heaved over the jar of peanut butter, shivering and his attempts for breath resulting in more coughs. Slick's arms were around Karkat in an instant and taking him to the sink. He grabbed the first cup he saw, unwashed and still had what was probably rum in it, but he dumped it out and filled it with water from the faucet. He set Karkat down on the edge of the sink and forced his head back.

"Open your mouth!" Slick yelled, but Karkat hissed and fought away from Slick, still choking on the peanut butter. "Goddammit kid, just open your fucking mouth!"

When he finally managed to get Karkat's mouth open, he carefully forced the cup to his face and dumped as much as he could into his mouth. Karkat gulped the water down and, after a moment, began coughing again, but was able to take deep breaths. He grabbed the cup from Slick and finished it off himself. Slick stared at Karkat as he gripped the cup, breathing heavily.

"No more peanut butter." Karkat whispered.

Slick cracked a nervous smile. "Yeah. No more peanut butter."

When Slick took the clothes Deuce had given him again, Karkat shook his head and snatched them away from Slick, saying he could do it by himself. Slick shrugged and let him, taking this moment to look at the filled sink he'd just grabbed the cup from and realizing there were probably no clean dishes. He didn't care to actually do the dishes, but it was something to keep him occupied while Karkat struggled with the clothes.

Sollux's old clothes were a bit oversized on Karkat, but they worked for the time being as his old ones he seemed so attached to went through the washer and dryer. Slick, before he tossed them in, decided he might as well put something dry on for himself and dropped his soaked ones in with them. Karkat watched him start up the washer from the other room, his pupils dialated and his tail in his hands. Slick looked back at him, and Karkat's grip on his tail tightened. He realized not only was the fur red on the end, but he hadn't seen his tail actually move on its own.

"What's with your tail?" Slick asked, approaching Karkat and kneeling down to see him better.

Karkat moved his tail behind his back, as if it were something he'd just stolen. "Nothing."

"C'mon, I know there's SOMETHING up with it. Is red even a natural color for trolls?"

Karkat simply stared at him, expression becoming sheepish. "If I tell you that, you'll put me outside."

Slick stared back at Karkat. "What? People do that just because you're blood's red?"

Karkat looked down at the floor, pulling his tail back around to stare at the red puff of fur at the end. He nodded silently. "And it won't work. Because... once my owner broke it and it stopped working even when it got better."

Slick's expression softened. There he was, a dangerous, scary mobster--hell, he's KILLED people--and he sat there, staring at a little mutated troll, feeling sorry for it. He wanted to kick himself, yell at himself to toughen up and bring Karkat right over to Droog's house and drop him off before things got worse, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He wanted to keep him safe. He reached out to him when Karkat's shoulders began to shake and tears began forming at his eyes.

"Shit, hey, it's okay." Slick said in a whisper (which was the best soothing tone he could muster). He awkwardly patted his head. "I'm not gonna kick you out, alright?"

"You're not?" Karkat asked, looking up at Slick with pleading eyes.

"Course not. Do I look like I give a shit about blood color and a tail?" He questioned.

Karkat shook his head. "I guess not."

"Yeah, see? You're gonna stay here with me."

"I thought you didn't want me."

Slick remembered yelling at Droog about Karkat, then shook his head. "Well uh. You changed my mind, I guess."

Karkat's eyes filled with tears again and he lurched forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Slick's neck and burying his face in his shoulder. His body quickly became racked with sobs, and Slick awkwardly patted his back as comfortingly as he could manage. Out of all the things he expected to be doing that night, it was definitely not comforting a troll he found on the street.

But he'd be damned if he let Karkat get left out on the street again.

When Karkat had calmed down, Slick led him back to the kitchen to find him something else to eat. He realized peanut butter was now on his clothes from Karkat clinging to him, so he took a damp rag and had to hold Karkat in place so he could clean off his face and hands. He settled on giving Karkat salted crackers. He gladly accepted them, eating them slowly in deep concentration, likely paranoid after choking on all that peanut butter.

Karkat gripped the box of crackers tightly as he followed Slick into the television room, climbing up onto the couch next to him and watching as the list of movie selections was pulled up. Slick looked at Karkat as he passed the children's section. He sighed and opened the menu, choosing the most popular one, titled "Up". Bright, colorful animation filled the screen, and Karkat's pupils dialated to perfect circles again. Slick snickered at Karkat, his eyes trained on the screen in wonder at the characters.

"Why's she crying?" Karkat asked a few minutes in as they sat in the hospital. He seemed genuinely distressed at this turn of events.

"I guess they can't have a kid or something." Slick muttered. He shrugged a moment later, as if that'd help get the point accross that no, he wasn't getting invested into this movie, of course not.

"Why not?"

"I don't fucking know, they haven't SAID anything about it." Slick rolled his eyes.

As the movie went on, Slick found it hard to convince himself he wasn't interested in the movie. Karkat, however, eventually moved to the floor directly in front of the television, the crackers in his lap as he stared up at the screen. That luckily allowed Slick some room for facial expressions as the movie played.

Towards the end of the movie, Karkat had lied down on his side, and had fallen asleep before the movie had ended. Slick turned off the television when the credits began to roll and stood up, approaching Karkat quietly. He'd curled up in a tight ball around the box of crackers, hugging them close like a kid with a stuffed animal. Slick carefully pulled the box from him and cradled him in his arms the way he always saw Droog and Boxcars do it when their trolls fell asleep. Karkat's eyes opened a little, but he shifted himself in Slick's arms and shut them again. Slick carried him to the spare bedroom in his house, carefully setting him down in the bed and tucking him in. Karkat instantly got up and took the pillow, blanket, and sheets, bunching them all together into a pile in the middle of the bed and climbed on top of it, curling up sleepily before closing his eyes again.

Slick watched him for a moment before walking back out of the room, turning the light off and leaving the door slightly open. He stretched and walked just across the hallway to his own room, silently telling himself he'd be sure to think of a good reason to tell Droog why he was going to keep Karkat instead of just handing him over to someone else.

****  
Slick was half asleep when he heard the door creak open a little, then shut almost instantly. He heard something dragging across the floor towards his bed. He lifted himself up, seeing Karkat's orange nubby horns peek over the edge of the bed. Karkat climbed up with the blankets and sheets from the spare bedroom's bed and dropped them in the center of the bed, on top of Slick's legs. He crawled into his pile, adjusting it into a black and white nest before curling up and falling asleep again.

****  
Slick awoke to the buzzing noise of his alarm drilling into his ears. He growled and smacked it off the desk, causing the cord to be yanked out of the outlet. He next noticed the weight on his chest. He looked down, seeing Karkat had curled up on top of him, sleeping peacefully with the blanket from the spare bedroom on top of him. Slick dropped his head back down onto his pillow, sighing.

"Karkat." He muttered sleepily, shaking his shoulder a little. "Karkat, c'mon."

Karkat's eyes opened halfway, looking at Slick exhaustedly. "Hi."

Slick slid Karkat off his chest and sat up, rubbing his eyes and stretching. Karkat hopped off the bed and got down on all fours, arching his back like a cat would and yawned. Slick smirked a little and slid himself out of bed, setting his alarm clock back down on the nightstand by his bed. Karkat padded after him as he exited the room.

After Slick got the coffee started, he looked into the pantry again. What was he going to give Karkat for breakfast? He still didn't have any troll food. Karkat pulled on Slick's pants, demanding crackers again. He had to open another box after all the crackers he had last night, and Karkat happily trotted back to the television room.

Slick had finally gotten his coffee when he heard the knock at the door. Karkat was still on the couch and had managed to figure out how to turn Up back on when Slick crossed through to get to the front door. Droog was there, Aradia by his side with a little white blouse on and a black skirt, her hair pulled up into a neat bun with chopsticks through it. They both looked prepared to go a funeral, which was usually how he dressed himself and Aradia, anyway.

"I'm here for Karkat." Droog said, a spare harness in his hand. He didn't need one for Aradia, but it was expected he'd think he'd need one for Karkat.

"Heh, well uh, about that..." Slick said, gripping his mug of coffee tightly. "Uhhhh..."

"You want to keep him?"

"No. No, I don't WANT to keep him. But uh. I will." Slick looked back at Karkat, seeing him staring at the front door with a bit of concern on his face. "Yeah."

Droog nodded. "I brought my book on caring for trolls in case this happened," he said, motioning to his car. "Also some troll food."

"Well, Karkat sure loves crackers." Slick muttered, walking into the house. Droog and Aradia followed, shutting the door behind them. Karkat pulled his box of crackers in closer to him protectively, as if they'd take it away from him. "Besides, doesn't Deuce always give Sollux pretty much anything but troll food?"

"Yes, so I suppose he's more accustomed to it. We just don't know Karkat's dietary habits from before." Droog approached Karkat, then looked at the television.

"I can't see!" Karkat yelled angrily at Droog. He stepped out of Karkat's way quickly, then looked at him.

"He's certainly made himself comfortable here." He muttered.

Aradia climbed up onto the couch beside Karkat, staring at the screen intensely. Karkat scooted away, holding his crackers away from her.

"So what exactly changed your mind about Karkat?" Droog asked, looking up at Slick now.

Slick shrugged, keeping his expression as tough as he could keep it. "I don't know. Felt like keeping him."

"Really." Droog stared directly at Slick, unexpressive but Slick knew he could tell he was lying.

Slick sighed and motioned for Droog to follow him into the kitchen. He set his coffee on the table and sat down, and Droog leaned against the countertop.

"Last night, I didn't intend on keeping him." Slick began. "You told me to feed him and I grabbed the first thing I saw, which was peanut butter. He just dug right into the jar, which was pretty funny at first but then he started choking."

"I'm beginning to doubt you'd make a good caretaker." Droog interrupted.

"Shut up, I gave him some water." Slick growled. "So then later he said people always got rid of him because his blood's red."

"He's a mutantblood?" Droog asked in surprise. "I'd assumed he was a maroonblood like Aradia when I saw his tail."

"Nope. Red." Slick took a sip of his coffee before continuing. "Also, his tail is paralyzed or something, his owner damaged it and it never healed right. Probably broke it just at the very base of it or something, I don't know. I have no idea how tails work."

"Hm." Droog stared into the television room as Aradia and Karkat sat and watched the movie silently. Aradia tried to say something, but Karkat shushed her instantly. "So you decided you'd keep him after that?"

"Yeah, he said he was always kicked out because of it. Started crying and everything." Slick said quietly. "Don't tell Deuce and Boxcars I decided to keep him after that, by the way. I swear to god I'm not weak."

Droog let out a half-hearted chuckle. "We'll see."


	2. Going to the Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slick takes Karkat to the park with Deuce and Sollux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course I couldn't leave my OTP out of the picture

Slick didn't particularly like the idea of having a harness for Karkat, but he had quickly learned after the first couple of outings that it was actually a lot more neccessary than he thought. Karkat seemed like he'd always stay by Slick's side when they were at home, but in public, he was always running off to look at things and try to take food from people. This led to the little black harness attached to Karkat, wrapped around his arms and chest snugly as Slick held on tightly to the leash. If he relaxed his grip for just a second, Karkat would be running off somewhere else in an instant.

Deuce always took Sollux to a troll-friendly children's park. It seemed to work out fine, and Sollux seemed to love it half the time. He'd been bothering Slick to let Sollux and Karkat play sometime, and Slick finally gave in. The park had a huge field, filled with people chattering and kids crying. They treaded on top of a small hill just above a kid's park, complete with sand and slides and everything. Karkat tugged on the leash irritably as they continued across the field to where Deuce stood with Sollux.

"HE doesn't need a leash!" Karkat yelled. "Why do I need one?"

"You know exactly why you need one!" Slick snapped. "Quit tugging or I'll get you one around your neck and you can go ahead and choke yourself to death."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Hi boss!" Deuce called when he saw them.

"Hey." Slick muttered as soon as he was close enough for Deuce to hear.

"You can take Karkat off the harness, this is an off-leash zone." Deuce motioned to Karkat angrily tugging and biting at the harness around him.

"He's just gonna bolt off somewhere else if I do." Slick growled.

"It'll be fine here!"

"Alright, whatever." Slick unhooked the leash from the harness, though Karkat still didn't seem contented. He flopped on the ground and fought against the harness, trying to unbuckle it from the back. Slick sighed and unbuckled it for him, and Karkat finally seemed happy.

Slick looked from Karkat to Sollux. When standing, Karkat reached up to about the middle of Slick's forearm. Sollux reached up almost to his shoulder, making him as tall as Deuce. Slick began to wonder how old Karkat was; he knew Sollux was about six. Karkat was likely around the same age, as he was the same size as Aradia and Tavros. Sollux was just a lot bigger than most trolls for some reason, which also made many disadvantages for Deuce. They were the same size, so he couldn't pick up Sollux like everyone else could, and it made it difficult for him to keep Sollux on a leash (not to mention Sollux had long ago figured out how to unbuckle the harness without much struggle). At the same time, that made them closer, in a way; if Deuce put him on the harness, Sollux knew Deuce just had to trust him not to take it off. Most of their relationship was based purely on trust.

"So what do you even do here with Sollux?" Slick asked, looking around at the people in the park. Kids ran and played with their trolls, some trolls less obedient than others. Slick knew Deuce treated Sollux much differently than most people treated their trolls, and he couldn't imagine Deuce throwing a stick or a ball for Sollux to fetch.

"We just hang out here, I guess!" Deuce answered. "Just do what Sollux wants to, mostly. Sometimes we draw when he's not very energetic."

Karkat finally stood up, gripping his tail and looking up at Sollux. Sollux stared back down at him before trotting to the bag Deuce had brought along and pulling out--oh god, Karkat was going to freak out--a box of crackers. He pulled one out, broke it in half, and handed one half to Karkat.

"Peathe offering." Sollux told Karkat. Karkat stared at him and cautiously took the cracker. He didn't eat it as cautiously as he'd taken it, but he seemed contented with the so-called "peace offering" and didn't say anything as Sollux ate the other half.

It wasn't long before Sollux demanded crayons and paper and had placed himself down beside a tree. Karkat followed and sat down next to him with his own paper and crayons, though he had to fight Sollux occassionally for the red or blue. Sollux always drew with the red and blue crayons in both fists, drawing simultaneously with each hand. Slick always had to look away as he did that, simply because it bugged the shit out of him. _Nobody_ should draw like that.

Karkat stood after a few minutes and shoved the paper in Slick's face. Slick stared at it, seeing a stick figure with a pointy hat and a suit. There were arrows pointing to it, but it didn't say anything next to the arrows. Slick suddenly realized two things at once: the stick figure was him, and Karkat probably didn't know how to read or write. The stick figure of him was standing next to what he could only assume was the house, but above it in empty spaces were little scribbles. He could write some letters, it seemed; but he likely didn't know what they meant. "S", "C", "V", and " J" were all over the top of the page, a couple written in red or blue, the rest in black and green.

"This is..." Slick began, looking down at Karkat. "Great."

"Great." Karkat repeated. He snatched the paper away and flipped it over to the other side, sitting back down next to Sollux and shoving it over the drawing he'd been occupied with. Sollux seemed to know exactly what Karkat wanted, as he situated the paper neatly over the one he already had and shoved the red crayon into Karkat's hand, beginning to scribble things on the paper with the blue crayon. Karkat pushed Sollux's hand out of the way sometimes to scribble things on it as well.

"Karkat," Karkat eventually muttered, watching Sollux's scribbles closely.

"K-A-R-K-A-T." Sollux muttered back, writing slowly onto the page. Slick realized what they were doing. Sollux was teaching Karkat how to write.

"That's adorable!" Deuce whispered to Slick.

"Ith Karkat'th name thpelled K-A-R-K-A-T?" Sollux suddenly asked, looking up at Deuce and Slick.

"Uhh, I guess so." Slick answered. "Never really thought about it."

"Well, it ith now." Sollux replied simply.

Slick looked around at the park again, wishing he could go home. The sound of kids screeching and crying was really starting to get to him. Karkat seemed to be enjoying himself, though, in the way he pretended he wasn't but everyone could tell he was. He stared at Sollux's writing in deep concentration, grinning for a moment when he wrote something but putting on his angry face again. Slick sighed. If Karkat was having a good time, he supposed that was good enough.

For a few more minutes.

Karkat looked up after a moment, spotting something in the distance. His ears perked up and his eyes widened. Slick knew this look. He quickly gathered up the harness and leash and approached Karkat as inconspicuously as he could, but Karkat leapt up to his feet and bolted across the field.

"Karkat!" Slick yelled, chasing after him. "Karkat, get back here before I--"

In an instant, Karkat was at the feet of a short prospitian in soft-colored, light clothes. She had a pink skirt, a blue shirt, and a green scarf that wrapped around her waist. On her head was a pink bandana-like accessory, which was currently being yanked at by Karkat as he tried to climb up onto her shoulder (he always did this when he saw someone was holding something interesting). In her hands was a clear tuberware container with cookies in it, in the shapes of cat heads. Karkat seemed determined to take the container for himself.

"Karkat, get off!" Slick yelled, finally reaching them and prying Karkat off the prospitian's shoulder. "I-I uh, I'm sorry about... Karkat..."

The prospitian smiled nervously. "Oh, uh, it's okay, I..."

"Let go of me!" Karkat yelled, squirming against Slick. "I want some!"

"He's kind of... greedy. When it comes to food." Slick said over Karkat's yelling. "Except for troll food, anything but troll food--"

"Ms. Paint!" A little girl's voice called from the distance. "Hi, Ms. Paint!"

"Hello, Nepeta!" The prospitian called back, kneeling down when a little troll approached, followed by... was that Nervous Broad? "Hi, Broad. It's nice to see you again!"

Slick backed away, seeing her interest in their very short-lived, flustered conversation had ended. Karkat began to flail and screech again, which diverted the attention of Nepeta and Nervous Broad to them. Nepeta stared up at Karkat, her tail swishing and her eyes growing wide. Karkat stopped, looking down at her and reaching for his tail, but he couldn't reach it when Slick was holding him tightly around his waist.

Nepeta accepted a cookie from Ms. Paint, but as she nibbled on it, she approached Karkat. Nervous Broad gently (and quite nervously, but that was just her thing) pulled her back, saying Karkat wasn't a troll she should be playing with. She whined a little, but was obedient as her attention was pulled back to Ms. Paint. Slick backed away more, but lingered to watch Ms. Paint as she held Nepeta in her arms and spoke to Nervous Broad. He never found much interest in prospitians, but she was among the most attractive carapaces he'd ever seen--right up there with Snowman, even. He knew very well if carapaces could blush like humans or trolls could, his face would be red.

"Sliiiiiiiiiick," Karkat whined. "What're you doing?"

"Huh? Oh." Slick shifted Karkat in his arms and turned around, walking back to Deuce and Sollux. Karkat continued to complain that he wanted to walk, but Slick simply ignored him.

"What was that about?" Deuce asked when Slick got back. "Why'd he run off?"

"Oh, some prospitian lady had cookies." Slick answered. He put Karkat down, but this time he struggled the harness back around Karkat's chest and gripped the leash tightly again.

"No!" Karkat yelled, beginning to tug and bite at the harness again. "No, I don't want it!"

"You just ran off, I'm not gonna take this thing off." Slick responded harshly.

"Nooooo!" Karkat screeched. "Take it off! Take it off!!"

People began to stare as Karkat threw himself to the ground and flailed, whacking the ground and rolling as he tried to get the harness off. Slick scowled down at his screaming troll, not paying any attention to the onlookers. Sollux stood and knelt down by Karkat, simply staring at him until he got Karkat's attention. Karkat looked up at him, and Sollux took his hand and dragged him up to his feet. Karkat tugged at the harness again, but gave up and followed Sollux to the tree again.

"Boss, do you ever wonder why Sollux is growing so much more than the rest of the trolls?" Deuce asked after a while. "I mean, he's the biggest troll I've ever seen, and he's STILL growing. I have to buy him new clothes all the time from the boy's section instead of the troll's section..."

Slick shrugged. "Maybe he's just a big troll. Plus, that isn't a huge loss, the troll clothes are shit, anyway."

"Well, he's as tall as I am!" Deuce held his hand up to his head for emphasis. "Whenever we go out, people are always talking about how he's a really really big troll. And he is!"

"You're asking me this as if I know anything about trolls." Slick shook his head. "Aradia and Tavros are barely as big as when I first saw them."

"I guess I could read about trolls more..." Deuce stared at Sollux as he snickered about something Karkat drew on the page. "I'm just worried maybe it's not good for him."

"I don't think it'd be unhealthy." Slick said, toying with Karkat's leash. "It's just a little bit of growth."

"It's not a little bit! It's a lot!"

"He'll be alright, Deuce." Slick shoved his hands in his pockets, watching Karkat take the paper away and start scribbling something on the page, not allowing Sollux to see it.

It wasn't long before Karkat became interested in something else and tried to escape to get to it. Slick followed his gaze and saw the children's park, kids screeching as they fell off swings and got pushed down the slides. Slick pulled him back.

"Karkat, that place is full of snotty little brats. Plus, I don't even know if they'll let trolls play there." He told him, but Karkat still tugged and squirmed to escape the harness.

"I wanna go there!" Karkat whined. He turned to Sollux, pointing to the harness. "Help!"

Sollux crinkled his nose. "It'th grothh over there."

As Karkat threw himself onto the ground again and screeched in protest, Slick noticed Karkat wasn't the only troll who was interested in that section of the park (or maybe it was why Karkat was so interested in the first place). Nepeta had found her way onto of the tower awning, literally on top of it. She had herself perched on top of it just over where the slides began. Nervous Broad stood just to the side, gripping the railing and reaching up, pleading Nepeta to climb back down. Ms. Paint was on the other side, trying to find a safe way to climb up there herself and retrieve Nepeta.

"Do you see that?" Slick asked Deuce, pointing up at Nepeta. "Jesus, what is wrong with that troll?"

"What if she falls??" Deuce asked nervously.

"Alright, Karkat, we're going over there." Slick announced, beginning his way down the hill with Karkat instantly on his feet to follow. He watched closely as Ms. Paint gripped the awning for support as she slowly rose herself up on the railing, then leaned onto it and reached for Nepeta.

"Nepeta, honey, come down from there!" She called.

Nepeta seemed to be having a great time, though, as she stood up tall and cried out to the whole park, "THE GREAT BIG WILD CAT STANDS HIGH ON THE ROOF AND LETS OUT A BIG ROAR!"

"Nepeta, please!" Nervous Broad pleaded.

Ms. Paint shakily began crawling up the awning, struggling to find things to grip onto as she found her way to the top. She carefully positioned herself so she could balance on it without too much risk of slipping and took a tight hold of Nepeta. Nepeta didn't fight Ms. Paint at all as she carefully handed her down to Nervous Broad. Slick was on the sand now, just below where Ms. Paint slowly tried to slide back down. She blindly searched for the railing with her foot, but when she lost whatever grip she had on the corners of the awning, she didn't find it in time. Several simultaneous screeches replaced the tense silence from before as Ms. Paint fell.

Slick barely even realized what he was doing as he instantly leaped out to her and caught her just before she hit the ground. He slid across the sand as they landed, and pain shot through him from the impact. The air was knocked out from his lungs, and the two lied there in silence for a long moment as they collected their thoughts, slowly realizing what just happened.

"Oh my god. Are you okay??" Ms. Paint asked, stumbling off of Slick and helping him stand.

"I think half my shell was just shattered, but otherwise I'm fine." Slick said with a hoarse voice. He instantly regretted his sarcasm and searched for something else to say. "You?"

"I probably would have been fine anyway, but I'm... better than I would have been. Just shaken up, is all." Ms. Paint smiled nervously again, shaking hard.

"I'm sorry!" Nepeta called from Nervous Broad's arms. Nervous Broad carried her down the steps and to the sand. As soon as they were close, Nepeta reached out to hug Ms. Paint. "I didn't mean to!"

"You shouldn't have been climbing up there, but me falling wasn't your fault." Ms. Paint hugged Nepeta, still in Nervous Broad's arms. She then turned to Slick, her smile turning just a bit less nervous now. "Thanks for catching me, by the way."

"I uh, no problem." Slick shrugged. "I just... happened to be there at the right time."

"Well, I'm glad you happened to be there." Ms. Paint's smile was genuine now, and damn, if Slick could blush, he would be as red as Karkat's tail. Her smile was just about the cutest thing he'd ever seen.

"Hey, do you think maybe..." Slick stopped when he realized he was speaking too quietly and Ms. Paint had become distracted. He cleared his throat awkwardly and tugged on Karkat's leash as a signal to follow him back to Deuce and Sollux. Karkat began to fight back again, and when Slick refused to give in, he began screeching yet again.

"No, I don't wanna leave!" Karkat screamed, pulling at the harness.

"Karkat, I am getting sick and tired of you doing this!" Slick yelled back, reaching down and picking Karkat up under his arms and adjusting him over his shoulder. "You either stop throwing fits or we're not going out anymore, and trust me, you do NOT want that."

As Karkat squirmed and kicked, Ms. Paint, Nepeta and Nervous Broad looked at him again. Nepeta laughed at Karkat and Slick, and Ms. Paint approached the two before Slick turned around to leave.

"Are you new to raising trolls?" She asked. If it were anyone else, Slick would have assumed they were mocking him, but she seemed so damn innocent about it.

"Uh... yeah, just had Karkat for a couple of weeks." Slick answered before getting kicked in the face. He resisted yelling at Karkat and put him down, still gripping the leash tightly. Karkat was on the ground again, getting sand in his clothes as he threw a fit for the umpeenth time that day. "Found him on the street one night."

Ms. Paint reached into her purse and took out the tuberware container she had from earlier, taking out one of the cookies and kneeling down to offer it to Karkat. Karkat froze, his pupils widening the moment his eyes locked onto the cookie. He gently took it from her hand and nibbled on it carefully. Slick lifted him to his feet and brushed the sand off his shirt and pants.

Slick looked up at Nepeta, who stared down at Karkat from Nervous Broad's arms. She seemed so floppy, she looked almost like a stuffed animal rather than a troll. Nervous Broad looked desperate to leave, and backed up a little when she saw Slick looking at Nepeta. He looked back down at Karkat, who made odd clicking noises as Ms. Paint ruffled his hair. Slick risked a small smile as he watched her interact with Karkat.

When Ms. Paint stood up, Slick tried again with his question, gripping the leash so tigthly in his pocket his hand began to shake. "So maybe we could uh, go somewhere. Sometime. If you want." He told her, surpressing the shaking in his voice as much as he could.

She looked at him with a surprised look, then smiled playfully. "Maybe we could, maybe we couldn't."

"So... is that a yes or a no?" Slick asked, unable to hide the shaking in his voice now.

She simply took out a small pocketbook and a pen, writing something down on one of the pages and careufully tearing it out. As she held it out to him, Nervous Broad gently nudged her, probably as a sign that if she stayed any longer, her nerves gauge would max out. Slick definitely didn't want to be around if that happened. Slick took it and Ms. Paint waved goodbye as she turned to walk away with Nervous Broad. Nepeta waved goodbye to Karkat as well, and Karkat waved back. Slick looked down at the paper, barely noticing Nervous Broad whispering to Ms. Paint how the choice she just made was a terrible one. Below her phone number was a little note.

"That's for catching me! See you later <3"

"Karkat." Slick still stared down at the note, not seeing Karkat look up at him.

"Hmm?"

"You just helped me get a date." Slick said slowly.

"Oh."

Slick bent over and picked Karkat up, unable to resist the huge grin that spread on his face. "For that, I owe you all the crackers I can buy."

"Fuck yes!"


	3. Peace Treaty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat goes and meets a few more trolls, as well as a strange cherub.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man more chapters I've been writing like nonstop!!! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Karkat had long since made himself comfortable in Slick's bed every night. He knew sometimes Slick came home really late, and sometimes he came home stumbling with slurred speech and could barely think straight, but he had decided this was _his_ bed, and he'd elected to simply share it with Slick. On those nights where he was yelling and breaking things before flopping down in the bed beside Karkat, he was just being nice by letting him stay, even though he smelled terrible and pushed him off the bed over and over until he fell asleep. Every night, though, as soon as he was sure Slick had fallen asleep, he liked to curl up on his chest, even though his shell wasn't particularly soft. It just felt nice to be close to something living and breathing that didn't hate his guts (even though Slick acted like he did, but he mostly preferred it that way).

Sometimes, Ms. Paint would come over and stay for a few hours before Slick would drive her home. He wouldn't drink so much of the bad-smelling stuff whenever she was over, but they'd drink about two glasses of a different kind of it. This kind was supposedly fancier, as Slick always presented it like it was from the goddamn museum. Their breath stank after it, but not as bad and they could still think and walk straight. Karkat liked having Ms. Paint over, too. She always brought gifts for him, such as cookies and books and sometimes paintings he'd asked her to make. He would always hang up the paintings on the wall in his room.

The spare bedroom he'd been placed in on his first night had been turned into his own room. Karkat always kept his belongings in there, but it was nothing more to him than a place to put his stuff. As he stood stubbornly in his room, refusing to clean it like he'd been asked, Karkat's ears perked up at the sound of Slick yelling (he was always yelling, though, so it wasn't too much of a surprise.) The bathroom door was wide open now, and he could see Slick's reflection in the mirror. He was yelling at someone on the phone, which was the only way he ever talked to anyone on the phone; except for Ms. Paint.

"I'm beginning to doubt you actually know what you're talking about." Slick said into the phone, leaning against the bathroom counter top. He paused and listened for a while. "What do you THINK I am, dumbass? The only way I probably WOULDN'T be nervous would be to get horribly drunk beforehand, and that wouldn't work out well in the end. This is like, our first formal date ever."

Karkat reached for his tail, holding it close to him as he slowly approached the bathroom. Slick's hat was off and he was starting to press the phone between his head and his shoulder so he could struggle with a tie. Karkat only ever saw Droog wearing a tie, and he'd learned by now that it was weird for him to not be wearing one. He'd begun to believe Droog even wore suits to bed.

"No, I don't have time. She'll be here any minute and I can't--I CAN'T FIGURE OUT THIS GODDAMN TIE." Slick suddenly rose his voice, looking ready to tear the tie to shreds. "You can't tell me how to tie a tie over the phone, idiot! ...No, you can't!"

Karkat looked down towards the staircase when he heard the doorbell ring. Slick froze in his spot, muttering something under his breath. Suddenly, his voice rose again. "Karkat! Karkat, where are you?"

"Right here." Karkat answered, going closer to the bathroom. "I think Ms. Paint's here."

"No shit, kid. Go distract her for like, five minutes. I need to get this tie on." Slick said, pointing out of the bathroom at an angle, probably trying to point to the stairs. "If she asks where I am, tell her I uh, will be down there in a minute."

"Five minutes, you mean."

"I mean _in a minute_. Don't make it sound like I'm running goddamn late, because I'm not. I mean. I am, but I'm not."

Karkat rolled his eyes and hopped down each step, a small but sure thumping sound made each time he landed until he reached the last step. He opened the door just a little bit, peeking out to see Ms. Paint. Then he opened the door wide, greeting her with a wave and a little "hello".

"Hello, Karkat!" Ms. Paint greeted with a wide smile. She plucked him from the floor and balanced him at her side. "How are you today?"

Ms. Paint was wearing a fancy dress to match Slick's slightly nicer suit than usual and tie, except he wore all black and her dress had green as well as black. Slick hated the color green, Karkat knew this much. He didn't say anything, though; he simply replied with a barely audible "good" and reached for his tail. Ms. Paint gave him a squeeze and set him down on the floor, pushing the door shut and kneeling down as she reached into her purse.

"Guess what I have for you today?" She asked, her hand holding something but not pulling it out yet.

"A crab?"

"Karkat, if I had a dollar for every time you asked that, I'd be living in a mansion by now." She chuckled. "No, I can't get you a crab, sweetie. But I _do_ have something else."

Karkat's eyes widened when she pulled out a black square object. It was small and thin, and Karkat could hold it with ease. He examined it closely, unsure of what to do with it.

"Open it like this," Ms. Paint said, opening the lid to reveal a keyboard.

"A computer?" Karkat asked in surprise. Slick had a computer, but Sollux said it was the slowest desktop computer he'd ever seen and had warned Karkat not to waste his time with it. Besides, Karkat wasn't allowed to touch it, anyway. He wasn't allowed to touch a lot of things.

"I'm sorry it's an old one, but this used to be mine." Ms. Paint told him, watching him examine it closely and with great care. "Now I have a new one, and I thought you should have a laptop so you can--" she stopped suddenly in midsentence, then smiled. "Whoops, that's supposed to be a surprise. You'll find out later."

"So I can what?" Karkat asked, but she had already stood up and peeked up the stairs.

"Now where is Slick?" She muttered.

"He'll be down in five--I mean, a minute." Karkat said, stumbling over his words a little.

"Running a bit late, I presume." She said with amusement in her tone rather than irritation, then turned back to Karkat.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Karkat asked with his sort-of-new laptop in his hands.

"It's a surprise!" Ms. Paint reminded him, though she seemed pretty excited about it. She gently rubbed Karkat's head around his horns, and he leaned his head into her hand. "It won't be very long until you find out, okay?"

"Okay."

"Good evening, Ms. Paint." Slick said from the top of the stairs, trying to sound suave, but even Karkat had to admit he wasn't that great at it. Ms. Paint didn't seem to mind, though, as she smiled almost shyly back at him.

"Good evening." She replied as he walked down the stairs. It seemed he'd figured out the tie, but it was at an awkward angle and looked a little bit too tight around his neck. Ms. Paint noticed the tie as well and straightened it out for him. He looked a little embarassed. "Are you ready to go?"

"Of course." Slick allowed a little bit of a smile and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

"Where are you guys going?" Karkat asked. Slick seemed to have forgotten Karkat was there.

"We're going out on a special date." Slick answered. "We won't be gone long, alright?"

Karkat whined. "Nobody's gonna come over for me?"

"No, but we're gonna drop you off somewhere. Sort of a nighttime daycare thing." Slick answered. He suddenly looked up at Ms. Paint. "Nightcare?"

She shrugged.

"Alright, yeah, whatever. A thing where they take care of pets." Slick proceeded, moving the computer aside and lifting Karkat from the ground. "Like I said, it won't be long."

Karkat frowned. "How do I know you'll come back?"

Slick and Ms. Paint exchanged glances before staring at him. Ms. Paint looked obviously distressed, and Slick had his I-swear-I'm-not-upest look. Slick awkwardly shifted Karkat in his arms so he could press their foreheads together. Karkat squirmed a little, not used to Slick showing so much affection like this.

"Karkat, I'll come back." He whispered. Karkat had learned that whenever he was whispering, he was dead serious.

"Promise?"

"Stab a guy in the heart and hope he dies, or whatever that saying is."

"Cross your heart and hope to die."

"I sure as fuck am not gonna swear on dying, but I AM promising you I'll come back." Slick shifted Karkat back against his side and patted him, probably what he thought was gently but it sort of hurt Karkat's shoulder. "Lets go or we'll be late."

Karkat was way too small to sit in the seat quite right, so usually he'd just have to be trusted not to fuck around when he was in the car; but with Ms. Paint there, he sat on her lap as Slick drove. If he stretched out and leaned in towards the window, he could actually see people pass as they walked along the sidewalk. Carapaces and humans passed, and sometimes there were dogs on leashes, but Karkat didn't see trolls. He slouched back down against Ms. Paint and heaved a deep sigh.

"Alright, we're here, kid." Slick announced as they pulled into the parking lot of a large building. "Before we get out, though, you gotta promise me something."

"What?"

"You will _behave_ while you're in there. I actually think this place might be good and I don't wanna have to find somewhere else in the future."

"I'll be so damn behaved they'll think I'm from heaven or something." Karkat promised.

"Watch your language, kid. Especially while you're in there." Slick climbed out of the car, and Ms. Paint unbuckled the seatbelt and held Karkat as she followed. Karkat clinged to Ms. Paint, watching nervously as they approached the building.

The first thing Karkat noticed when they walked inside was it was way warmer than outside. The next thing, it smelled terrible. Dogs could be heard barking from some section in the building, cats meowing, trolls yelling. They were greeted by smiling employees and led to the front desk where Slick began writing things on a piece of paper. Karkat looked down at it, hoping to be able to see what it said. He'd been getting very good at reading and now he wanted to read everything.

Before he could make out the first couple of words, the human worker greeted Karkat.

"Well hello there, you adorable little thing!" She said. "Are you excited to play with all the other trolls?"

Karkat clinged to Ms. Paint tighter and shook his head.

"Aww!" She laughed, but she didn't have any words of comfort for him. Karkat buried his face into Ms. Paint's shoulder, her shell warm against his skin. He'd gotten used to how tough shells were and found at least the warmth to be comforting.

"It'll be a night's stay." Slick muttered to the worker.

"A whole night?" Karkat asked, staring down at Slick. "You said it'd only be a couple of hours!"

"I can't say I _lied_ to you because a night is literally only a couple of hours." Slick replied.

"You promised!"

"I promised I'd come back." Slick stood up straight once he was done with the paperwork and stared at Karkat. "It'll be fine, Karkat. You don't need to worry."

"I don't wanna stay here." Karkat whimpered, feeling tears brim up in his eyes. He quickly rubbed them away, hoping nobody saw he was crying.

"There's going to be other trolls you can play with. Once you see it, you'll enjoy it." Ms. Paint assured with her soothing voice. "Nepeta comes here all the time, and she loves it! In fact, I think she's here tonight."

Karkat had to be pried off of Ms. Paint so she and Slick could leave. Karkat watched them walk out as they held hands. As Slick pushed the door open, he looked back at Karkat. He looked genuinely sorry once he saw the tears at Karkat's eyes he couldn't seem to keep away. He held up his free hand and waved. Karkat looked down at the floor, refusing to wave back.

Karkat was led to a large room with, predictably, other trolls. There weren't as many as he imagined, and it was cozier than he imagined, as well. It had a carpeted floor instead of the metal one he'd pictured, and there were nests everywhere instead of cages. Some trolls were curled up in the nests, the others ran about and played with one another. When he saw it, it really didn't seem that bad. Maybe Slick and Ms. Paint were right about this place.

He was still mad at them, though.

Karkat scanned the room for Nepeta. At least if there was someone he'd even just seen, that'd give him somewhere to go to. When he finally spotted her, he saw she was one of the sleeping trolls, curled peacefully on a pile of blankets and pillows. As the worker left him to meet with the other trolls, he trotted to her and shook her until she opened her eyes.

"Hmm...?" She muttered, rubbing at her eyes without opening them. "Dad?"

"No." Karkat answered, raising an eyebrow slightly. "Karkat."

"Who?" She finally opened her eyes. "Oh, you! I remember you!"

"My owner dumped me here to die for the night." Karkat rolled his eyes, plopping down beside the nest. Nepeta hopped down from it and sat beside him.

"You won't die here, it's a lot of fun. My pa--uh, I mean, owners, drop me off here all the time. Nervous Broad works a night shift and Pickle Inspector works a lot at night too whenever Team Sleuth has to do some special work." Nepeta looked around at the variety of trolls. "Kanaya and Eridan are here too somewhere..."

"Team Sleuth?" Karkat asked. "My owner hates Team Sleuth."

"Yeah, when we were going back home after we saw you and after Spades Slick caught Ms. Paint, Nervous Broad told me I could never ever ever--oh, I forgot I'm not supposed to talk to you..." Nepeta's brow furrowed and she stared down at her feet.

"Why not?"

"Because your owner's Spades Slick, and Spades Slick really really dangerous. My owners say that you're probably dangerous too. They say not that they make assumptions like that about everything, but they just wanna keep me safe."

"I'm not dangerous. I'm just his pet."

Nepeta looked up at Karkat, a sort of pleading look in her eyes. "I'm sure you're not dangerous."

"Besides, Nervous Broad won't find out. She's not even here."

"Karkat..." Nepeta looked behind her at all the other trolls and scooted closer to him. "Can you keep a secret?"

"We've known each other for probably only three minutes and you're trusting me with a secret."

"I don't know, you just seem like somebody I can trust." She smiled at him this time, and he could tell she honestly trusted him. He'd have to keep his promise not to tell (unlike _somebody_ he knew who didn't seem to keep any of his promises).

"Alright, sure." Karkat was pulled in closer to her so she could whisper in his ear.

Nepeta was about to say something, but she pulled away and shook her head. "Never mind. They might get mad. I mean, it's not that bad when they do, but I don't want to upset them."

Karkat stared at Nepeta. She was a very strange troll. As she sat, seeming to entirely forget about what she was about to tell Karkat, she locked eyes with another troll and waved. Karkat leaned over to look past her and saw another greenblood, higher on the caste than Nepeta. She had one straight pointy horn and another fang-like one. She seemed to be occupying herself with a blueblood, with one fang-like horn as well and then one like a claw.

"That one over there, the greenblood, is Kanaya. She's Problem Sleuth's troll." Nepeta stated. "She's always talking to the blueblood. I think her name starts with a V. I mean... wait..." Nepeta suddenly looked scared, scanning the room for someone. "Don't tell anyone I said that!"

"Said what?"

"What her name starts with!" Her voice lowered when she spotted a carapace who seemed to be keeping watch on all the trolls. "I'm not supposed to be able to spell. Trolls can't spell."

"I can spell." Karkat whispered back. "So I'm okay with it."

"You can?" Nepeta's eyes brightened. "Spades Slick actually... teaches you?"

"Sometimes. Other times Ms. Paint does, or Sollux does. Uh... he's Clubs Deuce's troll, if you don't know that already. And I guess the rest of the time I practice on my own. I can read and write and spell and count."

"Me too!" Nepeta whispered excitedly. "So Sollux can too?"

"Yeah, Deuce treats him like a god." Karkat rolled his eyes as he whispered. "He's a big know-it-all. Showoff."

Nepeta giggled excitedly and sat even closer to Karkat. "Wow, so I guess my owners aren't the only ones..."

"So they taught you all that stuff?"

"Yep! I'm in an online school." Nepeta puffed her chest out proudly. "I'm sad I can't go to actual school like the carapaces and the humans, but I'm happy to even just be learning."

Karkat mulled over the idea of online school. There was only one thing that didn't sound cool about it, and that was being caught somehow. He didn't know if it was legal or not to be enrolling trolls into online schools, or if Slick would even sign him up for it. If Pickle Inspector and Nervous Broad were doing it, it was likely legal; but Nepeta was so secretive about it. Karkat's brow furrowed as he thought intensely about it. He'd have to ask Slick about it as soon as he could.

Karkat's ears perked when he noticed everyone suddenly going silent. He looked to the doorway, where a very nervous looking worker stood next to a little reptilian/human-like creature. It was all green and its head looked like it was a skull. It was so skinny, it looked like its entire body was just bones. Around its jaw, it had a brown, leather muzzle, which only seemed to make it even more sad with its presence. It was gently nudged towards the trolls and everyone remained silent.

"What IS that?" Karkat asked Nepeta, whispering even quieter than before.

"That's the exception pet," Nepeta explained. "Cherubs are even rarer than trolls. He's the only one who comes here, so he's put in here with us. He's really really really mean. He hates EVERYONE!"

Karkat watched as the cherub slowly tiptoed to a bin with troll toys, eyeing the trolls around it carefully. As soon as he got too close, they all backed off, staring nervously back at him. He pulled out a squeaky duck toy and retreated to a corner of the room where no troll was. He sat down, huddling close to the duck as if it were the only thing he had left.

"That's weird." Nepeta whispered. "He's not... hurting anyone."

Karkat stood shakily and all eyes were on him. "Maybe he's different, now."

"I wouldn't advise you going over there," the other greenblood whispered as soon as she had gotten close enough. "It's not safe. Even though Umbrage has a muzzle, he can _still_ hurt you. He's cruel."

Karkat crossed his arms promptly. "I'm strong enough to defend myself and I'll go over there if I want to."

Everyone watched as Karkat approached. He felt a lump in his throat rise as he got closer, but he was determined to talk to "Umbrage". He didn't seem so bad--maybe he really had changed since the last time he was there. Umbrage watched with an intense but sad look as he slowly padded closer, until he was just in front of him. He sat down beside him, shaking but determined.

"Hi." Karkat greeted.

"Hi," Umbrage responded with a strained voice. He seemed almost as if he was mocking Karkat, his voice more high pitched than what seemed to be his natural voice.

"Um..." Karkat looked down at the floor, then held out his hand to him, thinking back to what Sollux did when they met. He didn't have anything else he could offer to him. "Peace offering?"

Umbrage stared at his hand, wincing a little before reaching back and gingerly taking his hand, careful of his claws around Karkat's suddenly tiny-looking hand. "Okay."

"I'm Karkat."

"I'm Umbra."

Karkat glanced back at Kanaya. "I was told your name is--"

"Sometimes." Umbra looked back towards the door. "I have a brother."

"So then why is your name sometimes Umbrage?"

"Because we... we switch. He's asleep right now so I get to be awake. Our owners changed our sleep schedule, so I'm really tired. I'll try and stay awake so Ca--U-Umbrage can't be mean to everyone. I know it sounds unfair to him, but..."

Karkat watched Umbra closely. He was staring down at the little duck, carefully holding it in his claws.

"I don't really understand what you mean," Karkat said truthfully, "but okay."

"I haven't seen you here before." Umbra observed.

"My owner dropped me off here for the night." Karkat replied bitterly. "For a 'special date' with his girlfriend."

"My owners leave my brother and I here a lot." Umbra sighed, sounding so sad about it that it actually hurt to hear. "I don't blame them though. My brother is... hard to take care of. And it's hard to tell when exactly either of us are going to fall asleep, and they both each have their own human children. They try to keep us on a schedule, but my end of it is long and I'm not allowed to take naps. Sometimes I feel bad for Umbrage though."

Karkat watched as Nepeta cautiously approached. She waved nervously, her entire body stiff, and sat down beside Karkat. Umbra waved back, smiling now. Karkat sat back, forcing himself to relax, and asked Umbra questions about his life. He quickly found out Umbra was actually Umbrage's sister, not his brother; he also found Umbra lived with four humans: two parents named Roxy and Dirk, then two kids named Rose and Dave. Rose and Dave were actually Umbra's age, and they were nice to Umbra so long as they were able to see her cheeks. Apparently her cheek swirls were green, and Umbrage's were red. Lastly, she actually shared a body with Umbrage.

Nepeta and Karkat had Umbra's full attention. Nepeta moved over to Umbra's other side so she could hear her better. Umbra, now in the middle, continued to talk about her life and how she actually thought she had it pretty good, considering how it had been before. Life for a cherub who shared a body with her very destructive brother proved to be, of course, very difficult until she and Umbrage found their current home. She always had to wear the muzzle, though, and she regularly had to have her claws filed down, which wasn't too bad, but it was tedious. Karkat thought long and hard about it. She was treated possibly worse than her brother. She didn't deserve to have to wear the muzzle and be treated like she could potentially lose it at any second. She was close to her owners, but she was still treated like a monster.

As time went on, other trolls came and sat down near Umbra to hear her speak. It wasn't long before all the trolls crowded around her, pressed close together to hear her. She eventually made room for more behind her and sat in the middle. Her cheekswirls grew more noticeable in what he thought was maybe a blush as she was given all the attention. Karkat looked up and noticed even the workers had gathered around, only a small distance from the trolls. They stared at the group in wonder, whispering to one another as Umbra spoke.

Umbra told funny stories about her life. She made it clear that Umbrage was the one who was mean, not her. Everyone was silent and watching her intently, and Umbra seemed nervous to be the center of attention at first, but she grew comfortable with everyone's eyes on her.

Karkat wasn't sure at what point he fell asleep, but when he woke up, everyone had scattered off to play and sleep. Umbra was being treated like a goddess by the other trolls, and even by the workers. Karkat was greeted from his slumber by a worker giving him a bowl of food. He looked into the bowl and saw dry pellets of troll food, so he pushed it away. Slick always gave him crackers and pizza; he was never ever EVER going back to troll food. His stomach growled in protest, though, so he picked one out and nibbled on it. It tasted worse than he remembered, but that was probably because he'd gotten used to it before.

Nepeta saw he was awake and ran to him. "Karkat, Karkat!" She cried urgently when she was close. "You wanna play with me and Kanaya and Eridan and Vriska?"

Karkat rubbed his eyes and stretched. "What're you playing?"

"We're roleplaying!" Nepeta said, her voice almost in a purr as she took Karkat by the arm and started dragging him along.

"And who's this?" The blueblood questioned almost judgementally.

"This is Karkat!" Nepeta introduced. She pointed to the purpleblood--a seadweller, Karkat noticed--who stood proudly and considerably taller than most of the trolls there. "Karkat, this is Eridan," she pointed to the blueblood, "Vriska," and lastly to who Karkat already knew, "and Kanaya!"

"This is Team Sleuth troll's play only!" Eridan said as he stared with squinted eyes at Karkat. "You can't play."

"Being owned by Team Sleuth has nothing to do with who can and cannot play with us." Kanaya sighed. "Besides, Vriska's owned by Snowman, and that doesn't stop her from playing."

"That's different." Eridan huffed. "He can't play w-with us. Who even ow-wns you, anyway?"

Nepeta stared angrily at Eridan, but remained silent as Karkat answered. "Spades Slick," he said.

"Oh, you DEFINITELY can't play w-with us." Eridan crossed his arms promptly.

"He doesn't have to be on your ship. He can be on MY ship. The more the merrier!" Vriska motioned for Karkat to join her. "I'm a pirate and you can be... hm... a hostage!"

"He doesn't wanna be a hostage!" Nepeta argued. "He can be a big lion like me! We'll live in the same cave, and--"

"I need more hostages, though! I don't have ANY yet." Vriska put her hands on her hips. "Fine, Karkat, you can be second in command of my pirate ship."

"W-whoa w-whoa w-whoa." Eridan held up his hands for everyone to stop. "Slow-w dow-wn for a second. I'v-ve suddenly decided he can be on my pirate ship as my personal serv-vant."

"Nuh-uh, that's lame!" Vriska yelled. "He's on my pirate ship and he's second in command!"

"He's gonna be a lion!" Nepeta interrupted.

"Or he could be a vampire like me, if he wants to." Kanaya suggested.

"He's not gonna be a stupid v-vampire!" Eridan yelled, stomping his foot on the ground. "He's on MY pirate ship!"

"GUYS!" Karkat yelled over all of them. "I don't even know what we're doing."

Nepeta quickly explained that it was easy, they just played out their parts together and interacted as their character. There was more argument as to what Karkat would be, but Karkat decided he just wanted to watch. Nepeta begged him until he finally agreed to play a role in their game, and he ended up playing as a lion with Nepeta because she was so intent on having another lion in her game.

He wasn't sure what lions and vampires and pirates all had to do with one another, but when it got down to it, playing with them was actually a lot of fun. Their little game had developed a plot, which was the war between Eridan and Vriska--er, Dualscar and Mindfang, rather. Since there was an uneven amount of trolls remaining, Vriska and Eridan had to fight over who got two trolls on their side and who only got one. They came to decide that the lions were inseperable and to even it out, Kanaya was especially powerful as a vampire. That meant Eridan wanted Kanaya on his ship, so Vriska got Karkat and Nepeta.

"Hey, little guys," a dersite worker greeted when he approached. He knelt down beside their setup and looked at them with a smile. Karkat looked to the other workers and saw they all had their eyes on the game, watching in anticipation as the dersite spoke to them. "What're you playing?"

"I'm a pirate!" Vriska immediately told him proudly.

"Me too!" Eridan agreed, nodding his head. "And I hav-ve a v-vampire on my pirate ship."

"I have lions!" Vriska pointed to Karkat and Nepeta.

"Pirate ships?" The dersite asked as if it were the coolest thing in the world. "May I watch you for a little while?"

"You're just in time to w-watch my ship defeat Mindfang's," Eridan puffed out his chest, then pointed to Vriska. "Your mov-ve, Mindfang!"

"The seas are quiet as Mindfang's ship glides through the ocean waters..." Vriska whispers, as if speaking it would give away their location. "The mist conceals the ship, but unfortunately, it also conceals Dualscar's!"

"Dualscar fires the canons at Mindfang's ship!" Eridan suddenly yells, acting out loading the bomb into the canon and liting the fuse. "BOOM! Your ship is sunk!"

"Nuh-uh!!" Vriska yelled back. "It was too misty to see where we were!"

"W-well I hav-ve special pow-wers because I'm the best pirate!"

"No you're not, I'm the best pirate!"

"Vampires can see a lot better than trolls can," Kanaya intervened, "so that means I would be able to see where your ship is."

"Eridan didn't talk to you first, so that was still a bad move." Karkat said, hopefully settling the argument. "Lets start back at Vriska's move."

"Fine," Eridan huffed. "Dualscar considers his options and goes to his vampire, Dolorosa. 'What do you think?' He asks her."

"'I think I can see the ship,' Dolorosa answers." Kanaya said, then pointed to Vriska's ship. "Over there."

"W-well w-why didn't you say so sooner!" Eridan threw his hands into the air as he spoke, then began to pretend to load the canon.

"Not fair!" Vriska suddenly blurted out. "You can't give away the location of the ship."

"If before, Nepeta and Karkat could sniff out our location, that means it's fair that I can see you." Kanaya recalled.

"Face it, Mindfang, you lose!" Eridan said as he pretended to light the fuse. "BOOM! NOW your ship is sunk!"

Vriska looked unsure of what to do next until Nepeta began acting out a swimming motion. "Disciple is gonna drown if she can't find something to hold onto!" She said urgently.

"Mindfang has found a piece of driftwood to hold onto and is pushing it to her loyal shipmates." Vriska says, pushing an imaginary piece of driftwood to Nepeta and Karkat. "But--oh no--it can only fit one pirate and one lion!!"

"Oh no!!!" Nepeta cries. "Disciple decides it would be best if Karkat went on the driftwood with Mindfang. 'Karkat,' she says, 'you must go with Mindfang!"

"'No, there's another way,' Karkat says. 'We must find another way.'"

"Out of sympathy and the kindness in his heart, Dualscar low-wers a ladder down the side of his ship. 'Get on, you stinky losers,' he calls dow-wn to them."

Karkat, Nepeta and Vriska act out climbing up the side and they jump on board Eridan's ship.

"Thanks for the save, Dualscar. But I TOTALLY would've been fine on my own." Vriska says, patting his shoulder. "Nice try, though."

"Nev-ver mind w-who w-would'v-ve liv-ved, I'm just the best pirate there is, and a good pirate ev-ven sav-ves his enemies. (My ow-wner taught me that, except it w-wasn't about pirates, it w-was about detectiv-ves.)"

"My owner says kill or be killed, but I guess that's just life for you." Vriska shrugs. "Whatever, we're getting out of character. THE END!"

The dersite clapped as if he were unsure whether or not he was supposed to, and when Eridan bowed, everyone else did as well. To that, he clapped more surely.

"That was... an interesting... game you had there." He told them. "I've never seen something like it."

"That's because w-we're aw-wesome." Eridan bragged.

"Well, m-maybe you could put on a play for the trolls--and Umbra--sometime." The dersite laughed, but he glanced nervously at the other workers. "I'm sure everyone would love that."

****  
Karkat awoke early in the morning to see a cherub, staring directly at him with an intense, hard stare. Karkat flailed out of his claimed nest in surprise, but stood up when he realized it was probably just Umbra. No, he thought, Umbra didn't look that... angry. Plus this cherub's cheeks were red.

Wait, didn't Umbra say Umbrage's cheeks were red?

There was one other thing Karkat noticed when he stared at Umbrage. He didn't have the muzzle on.

"Hello troll." Umbrage whispered so intensely, Karkat thought he was being yelled at. "Slept well I hope."

"Um..." Karkat backed up a little. "I guess so."

"Good." Umbrage had this angry smile on his face that made a shiver run down Karkat's spine. His speech was choppy, yet it was hard not to listen to. "Because. I want to play a game."

Karkat reached for his tail and clutched it in his hands nervously. "What kind of game?"

"Oh. Look." Umbrage pointed at Karkat's tail fluff. "Redblood. Like me. We're both mutants."

Karkat looked down at his tail and put it behind his back again. "Y-yeah."

"We can be friends then." Umbrage proposed, standing up tall as if he was the best thing Karkat would ever see. "I'm Umbrage."

"I'm Karkat." Karkat introduced. When Umbrage held out his hand to Karkat, Karkat took it and his hand was nearly yanked off when Umbrage shook it.

"Karkat. Lets play a game." Umbrage repeated eagerly. "You should play a game with me."

"Sure...?" Karkat glanced at the door, hoping Slick would appear any second to rescue him.

"Karkat." Umbrage took Karkat's arm and pulled him with enough force to knock him off his feet momentarily to a corner of the room, where a kennel was with the muzzle Umbra had on earlier. "See this?"

"Yes."

"I escaped this."

"I... see that."

"I've done this so many times." Umbrage said, staring triumphantly at the open kennel and the muzzle on the floor. "The humans and carapaces underestimate me."

"I uh... that's... cool?"

"We're getting sidetracked. I would like to play a game." Umbrage stared at Karkat with his undying angry stare. "It's a lot of fun. The other trolls love it."

Karkat looked desperately back at all the other trolls, soundly asleep in their nests. He searched the room for a worker, but the only one there had dozed off. He could wake up the worker if he needed to, but he didn't know if Umbrage would like that so much. In that situation, it was really a matter of how effective waking the worker would prove to be. He clutched his tail and nodded slowly.

"Okay."

"It does actually include some of the things I have. Actually. More like what is used on me."

Karkat gave Umbrage a confused look, and Umbrage laughed. "You see these?" He pointed to the kennel and muzzle. Karkat nodded. "Do you think. You could escape from these?"

Karkat took a small step backward. "Maybe...?"

"The trolls love this game." Umbrage repeated. "They never win though. The humans and carapaces have to get them out."

Karkat took another step back. "I don't really want to..."

Umbrage stared at Karkat. "I want to play this game."

"I don't."

Umbrage frowned. He bent over and picked up the muzzle, staring at it in his claws. As Umbrage stared silently, Karkat backed away more. When he looked back up, Karkat froze. Karkat looked behind him. He wasn't too far from the sleeping worker. He could easily make it to him before Umbrage got to Karkat. Karkat looked back, seeing Umbrage had eased closer to him. Karkat whirled around and sprinted to the worker, but he felt something hit his back and he was pushed to the ground.

The worker seemed to be woken just by the sound of the two of them hitting the ground, because he rose his head and looked down at the two of them beginning to fight against one another. Karkat grabbed hold of Umbrage's hands as he tried to punch him, but Umbrage was far stronger, so all Karkat could do was prevent him from hurting him _too_ badly.

Umbrage sunk his teeth into Karkat's wrist and when Karkat yanked away, he managed to punch him in the eye before the worker could pull them apart. Karkat's screeches of pain and Umbrage's shouts of anger had woken all the trolls, who all cowered to the opposite corner of the room. The worker struggled with Umbrage, getting bitten and kicked himself before he was able to open the door and sprint out of the room for help. Karkat was left on the ground, his eye hurting and his wrist stinging. Vriska was the first to push her way out of the crowd of trolls in the back and hurry to his aid, despite the other trolls warning her that he might come back in. Nepeta and Eridan quickly followed.

"Karkat, are you alright?" Nepeta asked as they all kneeled down around him.

"Umbrage really got you, didn't he?" Vriska asked rhetorically as she helped him up off the floor.

"Umbrage needs to hav-ve his ow-wn room to be in. All he does is hurt all the trolls." Eridan grumbled.

"I think your eye's gonna swell up." Vriska informed him.

Another worker walked in now, gently taking Karkat under his arms and lifting him up. "Lets hope your owner doesn't get too mad at us, huh?" He joked with a bit of a laugh as he carried Karkat out of the room. "We gotta make sure you're tended to now..."

Karkat didn't say anything as he was carried to a bathroom, where he was set down on the counter. He looked down at his wrist. The bitemarks ached and blood flowed out of them, dripping on the counter and on his pants. He wiped tears from his face, careful of his right eye. He was given an icepack to hold up to it before the worker began to treat his wrist.

"This might hurt a little." The worker muttered. Karkat stared at his shirt, noticing a nametag. His name was apparently Steven. Steven had to fight to get a hold of his arm so he could clean the blood off and sanitize where Umbrage bit him. "Red blood, huh...?"

"I want to go home." Karkat whimpered. Steven stared at him.

"You'll be going home soon, bud," he assured him. "We're giving your owner a call right now."

"He said he'd pick me up today."

"Hopefully he'll get you a little earlier, then."

Karkat watched Steven's expression as he continued to tend to him. He looked surprised, but he could see he looked worried as well. Another employee walked in with a first aid kit, handing it to Steven and staring down at Karkat as well, with an apologetic look. Karkat had to wipe tears from his face again.

"I called Mr. Slick." She told Steven. "He answered, but I think he might've been... drunk, or something. He yelled at me and said he'd be picking Karkat up 'eventually'."

Karkat felt disappointment drop down into his stomach as a bandage was wrapped tightly around his wrist to stop the bleeding. Of course, Slick had to be having some sort of issue preventing him from picking him up. He promised he would, but since when did any of Karkat's owners keep their promises, anyway? Slick was no different from them all. Just slightly nicer.

Karkat was led back to the room of trolls, still pressing the icepack to his eye. It was supposed to bring down the swelling, and it felt relieving in a way, but it still ached with how cold it was. Vriska told him he'd need an eyepatch, just like a pirate. Everything was about pirates with her, it seemed. Eridan argued it was just a black eye, he wouldn't need an eyepatch, but Vriska disregarded him and continued to talk about how every good pirate has an eyepatch.

Karkat was eventually told he could take the icepack off his eye, and it wasn't as swollen as it would have been, but it still was noticeable that he'd gotten hurt. He was able to forget about it after a while, but he couldn't get Slick's failiure to take him home off his mind. He'd been betrayed yet again; which came to no surprise, but it still hurt nonetheless.

Karkat watched as Nepeta ran to Nervous Broad and a man who was likely Pickle Inspector, hugging them each tightly around the legs one at a time. She was scooped up by Pickle Inspector and she nuzzled him affectionately. She waved to Karkat before she was carried out. Karkat waved back, but couldn't help but feel envious.

Vriska was picked up by who Karkat definitely knew as Snowman. Snowman looked proud of Vriska as she went on and on about how she'd spent her time, and was carried out just as quickly as Nepeta had been. It was only a few minutes afterwards that Eridan and Kanaya were picked up as well, Problem Sleuth and Hysterical Dame taking Kanaya out and Eridan taken out by Ace Dick. Karkat watched them with growing jealousy.

The sun had already gone down when Karkat heard the door open again. He looked at it with growing disdain, but his eyes widened when he saw Slick standing in the doorway. He nearly tripped over himself as he sprinted to Slick and clinged to him tightly.

"Hey, kid, what happened to your wrist?" Slick asked, prying Karkat off to pick him up. Karkat showed him the bandages, explaining how Umbrage had attacked him and also hurt his eye. Slick scowled. "Well that little bastard obviously doesn't know who he's messing with."

Karkat was uninterested in Slick's sympathy, though. "You told me you'd pick me up in the morning."

Slick's angry expression fell to a blank one. "Uh. Yeah... sorry 'bout that."

"What happened?"

"Lets get you home first, alright?" Slick turned and carried him to the front desk, where he paid for the hours Karkat spent there and was quickly reminded of the disclosure he signed when he checked him in, that the people working there were not responsible for Karkat's injuries. He brushed it off, yeah yeah yeah he knew, and carried Karkat to the car.

Karkat stared up at Slick as he drove in silence. He was wearing the same suit as last night, the tie loosened almost to the point of being undone and his hat squished down on his head a bit more than what it was probably made for. He smelled terrible, too; he reeked of sweat and the disgusting drinks he always had. He seemed to be thinking clearly, though, just aggravated as he usually was when he woke up.

"What happened in here?" Karkat asked when he saw the inside of the house. Knives were stuck in the walls pretty much everywhere, shards of glass all over the floor with stains that hadn't been there before. All sorts of belongings had been smashed and left on the floor along with the glass shards. Slick stared at it as if he'd forgotten about it, then lifted Karkat up again.

"Uh, just... go on up to your room, alright kid?" Slick told Karkat as he was transported to the stairs. "Everything's fine."

"It doesn't seem fine..." Karkat muttered. He rose his voice before Slick walked away. "I'm hungry, though."

"Shit. Uh. I'll order pizza or something and bring it up to you when it gets here, I guess."

"I haven't eaten anything since lunch yesterday!"

"It'll be here soon, just go to your room." Slick commanded, pointing up the stairs. "Go."

Karkat turned and climbed the stairs, but didn't go to his own room. He pushed Slick's door open and curled up in the middle after pushing all the blankets into a proper nest. He didn't close his eyes, though; he just watched the door closely and listened. He heard Slick pick up the phone and there was silence until he cleared his throat.

"Uh... Paint, I know I said I'd... not call. But it's been bugging me all day and I just have to say while I'm successfully sober that I'm sorry. I didn't... I really shouldn't have been so stupid, and I guess I should just admit straight up that I've only tried to cut back on my uh, _problem_ when we started dating and shit. And also that I haven't been very successful. Sorry you had to see me drunk and I'm especially sorry I was being a dumbass. I guess I'm not exactly fit to be your boyfriend considering I'm a goddamn alcoholic mobster who only cheats to get whatever he damn wants. And I guess I'm still being kinda selfish now when I say that I'd really like to actually talk to you instead of apologize to a stupid recording machine for you to hear later. So... call me back, alright? Maybe? Uh... bye." Click.

Karkat heard a long silence again before he picked the phone up again, and that time, it was for pizza.

Karkat had dozed off when the door opened, Slick with the whole box of pizza in hand. Karkat's eyes opened halfway, then widened when he saw the food. Slick dropped down onto the bed, kicking off his shoes and leaning back. Karkat abandoned the nest and crawled up beside Slick, greedily taking a piece and devouring it. Slick didn't take any, but he had his arm around Karkat and the pizza box on his lap. Once Karkat was full and had even eaten the crust--which he'd started to abandon after he wasn't so scared of not having a next meal for a while--he pressed himself up against Slick, staring up at him.

"Is there something wrong with you and Ms. Paint?" Karkat asked in his innocent voice, hoping that'd get him an answer easier than his normal tone.

Slick sighed. "It's an... adult carapace thing, Karkat. And, well, an adult human thing too. I guess it could be a troll thing, I don't know. But it's an adult thing."

"A relationship thing?"

"Well no fucking duh, shithead." Slick said, though there was nothing angry about his tone when he said it. "But you're too young to understand it, I think."

"Tell me anyway."

Slick looked down at Karkat, looking exhausted. "Whatever, alright. Things went fine on the date for a while I guess, but then I kinda got drunk and got in a fight because of uh, I guess just jealousy issues, something like that. Almost killed him I think, I don't remember all of it. Anyways, she said that kinda reminded her, hey, she's dating a fucking mobster and maybe that wasn't a good choice, so she broke up with me."

"Oh," was all Karkat could think to say.

"So. When I got home after that I broke a lot of shit, so that's why the house is a mess. Also because this morning I immediately got drunk again and broke some more shit." Slick sighed again and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "Whatever, how'd it go at the thing?"

Karkat relayed the story of how he met Team Sleuth's trolls, the story of meeting Umbra, and dozens more stories. After he got to the point where it was officially afternoon in that day, Karkat made a point of reminding Slick he broke his promise. Slick ignored the remarks and stared down at the pizza silently, beginning to gently rub Karkat's hair. Karkat purred quietly.

"Y'know what the guy was like?" Slick asked Karkat. "The guy I fought, I mean."

"Hm?"

"He was some guy Paint knew in high school. One of those snobbish rich guys who's only rich now because his dad was rich. Kept on getting Paint's attention the whole time, like they'd been best friends their whole lives or something." Slick told him with a bit of a laugh. "He was pretty funny, but the kind where you're laughing at the guy instead of with the guy. He pretty much backed off when I threatened him--like the coward he is--but like I said, I was drunk. Didn't really know when to stop right then."

"How mad was Ms. Paint?"

"Pretty damn mad." Slick sighed. "Drove the guy to the hospital and everything, left me behind."

"What a bitch."

"Hey," Slick said sternly, staring down at Karkat intensely. "Ms. Paint _is not_ a bitch for all that. It's _my_ fault, not hers, you hear?"

"Well he WAS snobby," Karkat rolled his eyes.

"Doesn't matter how snobby the guy was, I was still a dumbass. It ain't her fault. Don't let me hear you calling her a bitch again because she is anything BUT that."

"Alright."

****

"Karkat?" Slick whispered when Karkat was almost asleep.

"Hmm...?"

"M'sorry you didn't end up in a better house than mine, for the same reason Ms. Paint broke up with me."

"I think you're a good owner."

Slick went silent for a while, almost allowing Karkat to fall asleep again before he could respond. "Hey, don't call me your owner, alright?"

Karkat thought sleepily of what else he was supposed to call Slick. "Do you think of me as your pet?" He asked.

Slick slowly shrugged. "Not really."

"Then what am I to you?"

Karkat had long since fell asleep before Slick told him his answer.


	4. School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite past events, Ms. Paint wants to make sure Karkat gets an education.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY I'M REALLY SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN A WHILE. A lot has been going on and trying to get a new chapter out was pretty low on my priorities list. It's kind of short and it's not all that great compared to the other chapters, so I'm really sorry about that, but considering all that's been going on I think I did a fairly good job with at least getting the plot continuing.

Ms. Paint awoke late at night to the sound of her phone ringing. She groaned and rolled over to look at her alarm clock. The glowing red numbers read "2:46". She lifted her hand to her face and covered her eyes, whimpering as the phone continued to ring. It took a moment for her to roll herself out of bed, the blanket wrapped tightly around her and dragging behind as she sleepily carried herself weakly to the telephone.

She was about to pick it up when it stopped ringing. She sighed and leaned against the wall, waiting to hear if there was a voicemail. Her whole body stiffened when she heard the very familiar voice of her boyfriend--or, rather, ex-boyfriend now.

"Uh... Paint, I know I said I'd... not call. But it's been bugging me all day and I just have to say while I'm successfully sober that I'm sorry. I didn't... I really shouldn't have been so stupid, and I guess I should just admit straight up that I've only tried to cut back on my uh, _problem_ when we started dating and shit. And also that I haven't been very successful. Sorry you had to see me drunk and I'm especially sorry I was being a dumbass. I guess I'm not exactly fit to be your boyfriend considering I'm a goddamn alcoholic mobster who only cheats to get whatever he damn wants. And I guess I'm still being kinda selfish now when I say that I'd really like to actually talk to you instead of apologize to a stupid recording machine for you to hear later. So... call me back, alright? Maybe? Uh... bye." His voice was replaced by the clicking sound of him hanging up the phone and the female voice instructing her on how to delete the message or redial.

She pulled one of her arms from under the blanket and rubbed her eyes. She had told herself she wouldn't go back just because he seemed pitiful when (and if) he apologized. Ms. Paint was always complimented on how forgiving she was, but she always thought she was _too_ forgiving. It would take her far too long to finally put her foot down--but at least it helped that she was still mad, anyway. He'd nearly killed her "old friend" in a fight. Admittedly she was pretty grateful when Slick had told the guy to leave, as they were never friends in the first place and he was always a jerk anyway, but it had gone too far too fast when he was sent flying to the ground by Slick's punch.

"He really isn't worth your time, Paint." Ms. Paint remembered Hysterical Dame telling her when she found out they had been dating. "I mean, yeah, I'm... sure he'd be a nice guy... if it weren't for the whole mobster thing. _That's_ not for me to judge. But he's gonna be all sweet to you and get you all in love with him and suddenly he'll completely betray you. That's just his thing."

"You're biased." Ms. Paint had retorted. "You haven't actually gotten to know him. You've just seen some of the things he does from Problem Sleuth's cases, but--"

"You HAVEN'T seen those things, Paint." Dame's hands clutched into fists. "It's not just your run-of-the-mill stealing candy from babies thing. He has actually done terrible things!"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Paint, I don't want it to come to you being with him and then finding out what he's really like." Nervous Broad said in her usual quiet voice. "I-it really isn't my business who you date, though--"

Hysterical Dame elbowed her and interrupted. "It IS if it's as dangerous a man as Spades Slick!"

That had been when Ms. Paint walked away from them in frustration. She remembered getting a call from Nervous Broad later on that day, saying she and Hysterical Dame just wanted her to be safe, and that she respected her decision and Hysterical Dame didn't mean any harm to her. Ms. Paint supposed she understood, though at that point she was still upset about it. Now, though, she wished she'd listened to them. While Slick hadn't done any harm to _her_ , he still did harm to someone else because he didn't want someone else to be talking to her.

When it got down to it, though, she did miss him already for the times before that, and she also missed Karkat, even if it hadn't been that long. Karkat was tempermental, but he was an amazing troll and she'd begun to think of him as her own. She wanted to take him in herself, partially because she was afraid he might end up caught in mobster affiliations; but not only was she not in the right to take him, she wouldn't be able to take care of him. As much as she hated to admit it, being a painter wasn't a very well-paying job and she was barely managing to care for herself with the money she earned.

She wrapped the blanket around her shoulders tightly and dragged herself back to bed.

****  
"I _told_ you you shouldn't have gotten involved." Hysterical Dame huffed at Ms. Paint. She was quickly shushed by Nervous Broad, who then spoke up in her place.

"Please excuse Dame's _rudeness_. I'm sorry things didn't work out." Nervous Broad said, wincing as Nepeta complained loudly of the lack of food on the table. "Sshh, Nep, I told the waiters you'd be quiet..."

"Well, I guess it's for the best. Like you said, he's dangerous..." Ms. Paint said half heartedly, absently stirring her already-stirred coffee. She let out a deep sigh. "I don't know. I still miss him, though."

Hysterical Dame opened her mouth, but Nervous Broad quickly leaned over and whispered something to her, an intense look on her face. Dame crossed her arms and began to speak. "I can't say I actually _knew_ him the way you did, so I guess I've been a bit... insensitive about it."

"I... thanks, I guess. But honestly, you were right about it--"

"When's the food gonna get here?" Nepeta whispered this time, heeding Broad's warning to stay quiet. "I'm hungry."

"In a minute, honey, it won't be that long." Broad replied, silencing Nepeta with her tiny cup of juice she was given. "Ms. Paint, is Karkat still going to be staying with Spades Slick?"

"Yes." Ms. Paint answered sadly. "I can't just _take_ him, he was never technically mine in the first place. I guess I can only hope he'll do what we agreed we wanted to do--like with Nepeta?"

Broad looked a bit unhappy at this turn of subject. She never really liked talking about it, especially in public. She was very law abiding and careful to do what she was supposed to, but this was an entirely different story. It was what was right, giving Nepeta an education, but it wasn't technically legal. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and glanced at the people around their table.

"W-well, it's too late to... get him into that p-program." Broad said, as careful about her words as possible. "They'll be accepting next year, though."

"Next year, he'll be behind, though. And I don't want him to be just put in first grade when he should be in second--"

"Can you lower your voice, please?" Broad whispered, leaning in close to Ms. Paint so she could be heard. "This isn't something we should be talking about so light-heartedly in _public_."

Ms. Paint lowered her voice to a whisper as well, if only to make Nervous Broad more comfortable. "Do you think he could learn from Nepeta, maybe?"

This only made her look more scared. "I-I uh... i-it really isn't that I d-don't trust him, but he's--he's Spades Slick's, and I mean... I really w-wouldn't be all that comfortable with it..."

"He's really nice, though. I talked to him once." Nepeta interrupted.

"Wh-when did this happen?" Nervous Broad asked her anxiously.

"It was at the daycare!" Nepeta answered, forgetting to keep her voice lowered. "He probably remembered me from when we went to the park."

"You saw Spades Slick and Karkat at the park? How come you never told me that?" Hysterical Dame questioned.

"It was where we met and I gave him my phone number." Ms. Paint told Dame. "Nepeta made, er, quite the scene..."

"Wow, you two go out somewhere without me and you never tell me what the hell happened! Thanks, I feel appreciated." Dame replied sarcastically.

"I think it'd be fun if I could teach him the stuff I'm learning." Nepeta went on. "I haven't been able to talk to him since the daycare!"

"Nepeta, I can't just let you go to Spades Slick's house or have him come over to our apartment!" Broad protested.

"He wouldn't have to be there." Ms. Paint intervened. "I guess I could pick Karkat up and bring him to your apartment."

Nervous Broad looked at Ms. Paint, a pained squeaking noise escaping her throat before she finally nodded. "O-okay... w-we can try it tomorrow, but if anything goes wrong, that'll be the end of it."

"Yay!!" Nepeta exclaimed, causing a few people glancing over to see the source of the noise and a loud shush from Nervous Broad. Ms. Paint noticed a couple people "awwww"ing at her celebration.

"Are you sure you wanna actually, y'know, talk to Spades Slick about it and go over to his house regularly to pick up Karkat?" Hysterical Dame questioned.

"Dame, I think I can handle it. Karkat's like my own kid." Ms. Paint answered. "And I'm willing to make sure he gets the best he can."

Dame nodded knowingly with a smile. Nepeta pointed excitedly when she spotted their waitress with a large tray of food walking towards their table. She quickly handed out the food and looked at Nepeta. A smile spread on her face and she waved when she was sure nobody was looking. Nepeta giggled and waved back.

"Your troll is adorable, ma'am," the waitress commented as she prepared to leave.

"Oh, thank you," Broad responded with a kind smile. As the waitress left, Nepeta reached for the fries closest to her.

"But do you think Slick'll want you to just be taking Karkat out to Broad's house for lessons?" Dame asked Ms. Paint. "I mean, that's a little weird-sounding, isn't it?"

"He wanted Karkat to get into school too." Ms. Paint replied. "And he knows I wouldn't be trying to do something dumb with Karkat. I mean, at least I hope he doesn't suddenly think badly of me, if only for the sake of Karkat..."

Dame shrugged. "Y'know, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still concerned for your well-being especially after you broke up with him, but uh... I wasn't the one dating him. So I guess that's on you."

Ms. Paint smiled as Nepeta stuffed her face with handfull after handfull of fries, despite Nervous Broad's attempts to get her to eat them one at a time. (If there was anything one couldn't control Nepeta with, it was her eating as messily as possible, which was one of Nervous Broad's biggest pet peeves.) Dame quickly changed the subject to a lighter one when there was a long silence, and Ms. Paint tried to not think about her future task too much; she couldn't shake the feeling she had that Slick suddenly hated her or something and wouldn't let her take Karkat to Nervous Broad's apartment.

The time for her to actually give Slick a call came a bit too quickly for Ms. Paint's comfort. She considered waiting until later, but she thought maybe it'd be best to get it over with, so she picked up the phone and slowly dialed the number. She hoped maybe he wouldn't answer and she'd be able to wait until later, but she was met with Slick's frantic voice after only one ring.

"Hello? Who's this?" Slick asked quickly. "Is it Paint? Please tell me this is Paint."

"Uh--yes, it is." Ms. Paint answered, surprised by Slick's eagerness to speak to her. Did he ALWAYS answer the phone like this since she broke up with him?

There was silence on the other end. "I didn't... actually expect it to be you."

"Well, this isn't really about _us_ , I'll tell you that now." Ms. Paint told him, trying to sound as serious as she could. "It's about Karkat."

"Oh, uh, what about him?"

"You know how we wanted to enroll him in online school, of course. Well, since the opportunity for enrollment is closed until next year, I was thinking we'd have to wait until next year, but I found a way to get him the education of this year so we can enroll him in the second grade next year."

"What, really? How?"

Ms. Paint reluctantly went on. "I would uh... come and pick him up every weekday, and I would take him to, er, a friend's house, where her troll is in online school too, and they would work together on it."

Slick was quiet. "Whose house?"

"N-Nervous Broad."

"And uh, what was the kid's name again?"

"Nepeta."

Slick was silent for a long time in thought. Ms. Paint waited, and after a while she wanted to ask if he was even still there. Finally, when she was about to ask, she heard his voice loud from the phone.

"HEY KARKAT! GET OVER HERE FOR A SECOND!" He yelled to somewhere in the house. Ms. Paint leaned against the wall, growing irritated by this conversation. "Hey, why don't you explain all that again to Karkat?"

"Yeah, sure!" Ms. Paint replied, her mood brightening now that she'd be able to speak to Karkat.

She heard Slick tell Karkat who it was, then Karkat's slightly sheepish voice replaced Slick's voice. "Hi, Ms. Paint."

"Hey, Karkat!" Ms. Paint replied with a smile. "You remember Nepeta, right?"

"Yeah."

"She and her... uh, Nervous Broad said they'd love to have you over at their apartment so Nepeta and you can both work on online school. Do you want to do that?"

Karkat was silent for a moment. "Can Sollux come? He wanted to go to school too."

Ms. Paint was surprised, but she realized maybe she shouldn't have been, seeing as he and Sollux were pretty close. "I'd have to ask Nervous Broad."

Ms. Paint could hear Slick's voice in the background, saying something like "yeah, send all the Midnight Crew's trolls there, give the lady a heart attack while we're at it".

"But Sollux really wanted to get into it, too! He's probably already caught up, too, he wouldn't cause much trouble." Karkat went on, then there was a short silence. "Do you think Aradia and Tavros could come, too...?"

Ms. Paint heard Slick laughing and saying something incomprehensible in the background, but she answered his question. "Sweetie, I don't think Broad would like that too much."

Karkat went on pleading, promising they wouldn't cause any trouble until Ms. Paint stopped him. "Okay, Karkat. I'll call Broad and ask her, but I can't make any promises. If she says no, would you still go?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'll call her, and then I'll let you know, okay?"

"Alright."

Just as Ms. Paint was saying goodbye, she heard Slick and Karkat yell at each other for a brief moment before Slick had the phone back. "So uh. It starts tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Ms. Paint answered.

"Uh." Slick cleared his throat. "S-see you tomorrow, then?"

Ms. Paint held back an exhausted sigh. "Only for a moment."

"Yeah, yeah. Okay. What time?"

"I guess eight."

"Great! Yeah. Eight. Uh... I'll make sure to be up by then."

"I'll only be there for a minute to get Karkat."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Still though."

Ms. Paint found herself sort of smiling now. "Goodbye, Slick."

"See ya."

Ms. Paint hung up the phone before he could say anything else. God, he was being pretty obnoxious, but it was almost cute. Maybe she just missed him that much. She remembered she had to call Nervous Broad next, so she picked up the phone yet again.

The conversation mostly consisted of Nervous Broad complaining that letting Karkat into the apartment was risky enough, but letting Aradia, Tavros AND Sollux in was too much. Ms. Paint insisted, though, and managed to persuade Nervous Broad that it wouldn't be as bad as she was thinking it would be. Ms. Paint wasn't sure how, but eventually Kanaya and Eridan made it into the picture, and before she knew it the Midnight Crew's trolls and Team Sleuth's trolls would all be meeting in one place for school. And Team Sleuth's trolls would be serving as teachers.


	5. A Little Scared Troll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat spends the day with Ms. Paint for school and other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to take advantage of my emotional abilities to write and also winter break giving me the time. I hope this chapter's better than the previous one!

Karkat awoke to the sound of something breaking downstairs. He'd slept so deeply, he hadn't even realized it when Slick got up. He found he was lying awkwardly on the side of the bed, his head and arms hanging slightly from the side of the bed and his legs tangled in the blankets. He slid out of the bed carefully and tip-toed out of the room to go see what Slick broke--it better not be another bowl, he only had three bowls now to eat cereal with and he was getting really tired of having to pull up a chair to the sink so he could wash one to use.

Karkat stood at the entryway of the kitchen, watching as Slick cursed to himself as he attempted to clean up--of course--the shards of one of the only remaining bowls. God, that man broke _everything_. When Karkat dragged himself into the kitchen, Slick yelped in surprise and pointed the end of the broom at Karkat.

"It's me, Slick." Karkat muttered sleepily as he climbed up into one of the chairs. He was big enough now to sit at the table without needing phonebooks.

"Jesus, kid, you're getting fucking huge. Thought you were one of those annoying neighborhood kids here to steal shit from the fridge or something." Slick shook his head and swept the glass shards up into the dustpan and threw them away. "So. Uh... breakfast, right. School."

"You're up really early." Karkat commented.

"Yeah, Paint's gonna be here at eight. Course I'm up."

"D'ya think you and her'll get back together?" Karkat asked as Slick took another bowl from the cupboard.

Slick stopped in front of the table, setting down the bowl carelessly. He stared at Karkat for a moment, looking at him as if he'd asked the most heartbreaking question ever. He shrugged and turned away to get the box of cereal. "I sure hope so, kid, but... probably not."

"Why not?" Karkat pressed.

Slick turned to look at Karkat. "Hey, enough of these goddamn questions. What do I look like, an encyclopedia of relationship bullshit?"

Karkat glared at Slick as he dropped the cereal box on the table and retrieved the milk and spoon for Karkat. He muttered that Karkat should be getting his own goddamn cereal by now, but Karkat didn't answer as his cereal was poured. Karkat ate almost angrily, making a goddamn mess as he spilled excess milk several times every time he struggled a spoonfull from the bowl (he may have been tall enough to see over the tabletop, but not tall enough to particularly see over the bowl yet). Slick hurried upstairs to get showered and dressed in decent clothes before Ms. Paint arrived.

They went through the morning routine then after Karkat was done eating; getting Karkat into clothes for the day, brushing their teeth, Slick struggling to comb Karkat's hair (which was only in the routine for special days because both of them hated this part). It was only now that he was fully awake that he began getting especially excited.

"What kinda stuff d'ya think I'll learn?" Karkat asked Slick as he paced back and forth in front of the door.

"I don't know, kid. You'll find out." Slick answered.

"Where's Ms. Paint? She should be here by now!"

"Give her _time_."

"She never told me if Sollux and Tavros and Aradia are coming. D'ya think they'll come?"

"I don't know! You're giving me a headache."

That was when the doorbell rang. Karkat swiftly unlocked and swung open the door, and when he saw Ms. Paint, he grinned and wrapped his arms around her.

"You're here!" He yelled excitedly. When he realized his sudden show of affection, he backed off and crossed his arms. "Took ya long 'nuff."

Ms. Paint laughed and scooped him up in her arms awkwardly. "Oh wow, Karkat, you've grown quite a bit! It's only been... what, three and a half weeks?"

"I can see over the table now." Karkat boasted. "I don't have to use phonebooks!"

"Wow, that's incredible!" Ms. Paint complimented. She looked up from Karkat when Spades Slick appeared in front of her, his hands gripped in fists in his pockets.

"Hey, Paint." Slick greeted. "Uh... good to see you."

Ms. Paint nodded. "Y-yeah, it... it is."

"Look, I know you said you're only gonna be here a minute, but I wanna apologize real fast." Slick told her. "I mean, I _know_ you're still mad and shit. That was fucked up of me to beat that guy up right in front of you. And--and... I do that sorta thing often enough, y'know? It's just what I do."

Ms. Paint sighed deeply and looked at Karkat in her arms, who was staring at the two of them intensely. "Slick... honestly, I miss you. I do."

There was a silence before Slick nodded in agreement.

"But I don't know if this is really... what I can get into." Ms. Paint shook her head.

"You don't _have_ to get into it." Slick protested. "I mean, it's not like you'd have to go out on heists with us or anything--"

"It's not that, okay?" Ms. Paint's arms were tense around Karkat, squeezing him tightly until it made breathing difficult for him. "It's--it's the fact that this is how you earn a living."

"We don't JUST steal and shit for money, we perform, remember?"

"But how much money do you even get from that?"

" _Enough_. I-I mean, I guess enough. But it's not even really that often I actually beat guys up, just to clear that up. We get in fights with the Felt and there are some poser assholes trying to take the city for themselves too, y'know how it is, but this is the Midnight Crew's city! Otherwise, shit would be a lot more relaxed."

Ms. Paint's arms went tighter still. "So you couldn't let Team Sleuth handle those crimes?"

"And let this be Sleuth's goddamn city? He's an _asshole_. We got this city up and running ourselves, and I intend to keep it ours." Slick crossed his arms over his chest. "Whatever. Doesn't matter. Take Karkat to the lady's apartment or whatever."

"Slick." Karkat reached out towards Slick as he turned away.

Slick turned back to look at Karkat. "Yeah, kid?"

"G'bye." He waved from Ms. Paint's arms, focusing on Slick carefully. The frustration in Slick's expression at least softened, and he waved as well.

"See ya, kid. Go learn shit. Lemme know if you learn to not make a mess when you eat."

Karkat nodded, and Slick suddenly looked up at Ms. Paint as if something really important just came up. "Hey, wait, will he need his laptop?"

"Oh, yeah, probably, we're just getting everyone to bring them."

"Right, I'll go grab that." Slick ran upstairs, and the two could hear a loud thud before he finally reached the top of the stairs, then he appeared just as suddenly as he'd left. "Don't break the damn thing while you're out."

Karkat stuck his tongue out--a thing he'd begun doing after being around Slick so long--and Ms. Paint turned to take Karkat outside. Karkat looked at the black car with a leather-like top, wondering when Ms. Paint got a car, but then he saw Nervous Broad in the driver's seat. It must've been Nervous Broad's car, then, he thought.

As soon as the door was open, he was met by loud noises. He looked and saw three other trolls, all of which he knew well. Sollux sat tallest of all--god, he was _really_ tall--and next was Tavros, then Aradia. Aradia seemed like she never grew at all. Ms. Paint stopped and looked at the lack of space in the car, then moved up to the front seat.

"Uh, Broad, Karkat'll have to sit up here with me and Nepeta as well, okay?" Ms. Paint announced as Nepeta moved to Nervous Broad's lap temporarily so Ms. Paint could sit down.

"Uh, I... no, I think she'll be fine in my lap." Nervous Broad replied. Karkat rolled his eyes, watching as the woman trembled in her seat. How was she even allowed to drive when she was so anxious?

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, yeah, it'll be fine." Broad nodded and carefully adjusted Nepeta in her lap. Nepeta waved excitedly as Ms. Paint and Karkat got settled. Karkat waved back.

"Are we finally gonna go?" Sollux questioned from the back.

"Yeah, we're heading to the apartment now." Ms. Paint answered. "You said Pickle Inspector would drop off Eridan and Kanaya, right?"

"Yeah, he'll be there."

Ms. Paint sighed deeply and rubbed her face. "This is a lot more hectic than I imagined. And I thought the hours I spent last night on the phone was bad enough."

"Am I going to have to d-drive every day? I mean, I guess I wouldn't mind it, b-but the reason I even agreed was because I wouldn't have to b-be near the Midnight Crew, and now I'm driving to their houses..." Nervous Broad whimpered as she finally began driving out of the neighborhood.

"I don't exactly have a car." Ms. Paint replied. "I'll find a solution, though, don't worry."

The car ride was obviously doing a number on Broad's nerves, Karkat could tell, but he was too excited about school to care. Nepeta honked the horn several times (Karkat didn't blame her, he'd probably do the same if in her position), but otherwise didn't cause much trouble to the drive. Karkat kept hearing yelling from the back seat regarding Tavros's horns, and Aradia eventually told him to sit very very still and when they got out he wouldn't be in danger of harming others. Sollux kept pointing things out, though, and more yelling ensued when Tavros apparently turned to look.

"Okay, we're finally here," Ms. Paint announced to everyone as Nervous Broad parked in front of the apartment complex. Everyone was herded inside, and they were all met by two other trolls Karkat already knew as Eridan and Kanaya. Pickle Inspector sat on the couch and watched them as they argued about something, but when they saw everyone piling into the apartment they stopped.

Pickle Inspector stood as things fell silent at the sight of new trolls on both sides, approaching Nervous Broad.

"Are you sure you'll be alright? This is a lot of trolls to be handling." He whispered to her. "I mean, I guess I can't stay and help since I have to be at work, but..."

"Yeah, Ms. Paint's here, it'll be fine." She whispered back. Karkat decided they weren't interesting to him and greeted Kanaya and Eridan.

Everyone was introduced to each other, and they got everything set up for Nepeta, Kanaya and Eridan to take the stage as educators. Sometimes, Ms. Paint or Nervous Broad would step in to help, but otherwise they did just fine on their own. Karkat, Tavros, Sollux and Aradia ended up not needing their laptops for learning purposes, but after a long time of their learning process Sollux got Karkat on his computer for something "important".

"Now thearch 'Trollian' there. It'll be the firtht rethult." Sollux instructed him.

"How do you spell that?" Karkat asked.

Sollux spelled it out for him, then pointed it out when the result came up. "Click on that and then follow the inthtructionth for downloading and inthtalling it."

Sollux had to take Karkat through the installation process, but when it was all finally done, Karkat was shown a login screen. Sollux said just to make up any name and password, so he typed in "karkatVantas" with his two index fingers and "karkatspassword" in the password box, careful to copy the spelling of "password" as accurately as he could from the label next to the box. When he'd successfully signed in, Sollux told him to wait a second before a box appeared on the screen.

Karkat found this was a program that could send messages automatically between two people. He was instantly thrilled with this. Now he could talk to everyone without actually being there! Sollux said it'd also help with spelling, but Karkat didn't really care about that part. He found much enjoyment in sending Sollux messages even if he wasn't paying attention to his computer.

Because this was after the lessons were over, Ms. Paint announced it to be time for everyone to go home. Eridan complained that he didn't want to go to Ace Dick's office because it was boring there, but Karkat instantly inquired if he had a Trollian. He said he did, except he never had anyone to talk to, so Karkat got his username and fully intended on sending him messages when he could.

Karkat was last to be dropped off. Ms. Paint escorted him to the door, ringing the doorbell a couple times. There was no response. She tried the door, but it was locked. Ms. Paint sighed exhaustedly after a long time of waiting and ringing the doorbell and walked to the car, motioning for Karkat to follow.

"I don't know, I guess he's out." Ms. Paint told Nervous Broad when she opened the back door to let Karkat in. Karkat climbed up onto the seat beside Nepeta, who'd been moved to the back as well. "I'll just take him out with me and call Slick when I get home. I sure as hell don't mind having him for a while longer."

Karkat observed that after the day of having all the trolls in her apartment, Broad didn't seem so worried about having him near Nepeta. She was still _tense,_ as she probably always was, but she didn't seem too worried about the two sitting in the back together. Nepeta absent-mindedly chewed on her hair, holding the locks of shiny black hair up to her mouth with one hand and hugging her knees close to her chest with the other. Her tail tapped against the seat, close enough to Karkat's hand for him to feel the thump. Wow, when she wanted to, she could be really calm.

"Do you want me to drop you off anywhere?" Nervous Broad asked.

"Hmmmm." Ms. Paint thought. "Well, do you have any plans for today until you have to go to work?"

"No, not exactly."

"What about Dame?"

"I don't think she has anything planned."

"Then we should go out, take the kids with us." Ms. Paint began excitedly. "I'm sure they'd love that."

"Oh, uh, sure." Nervous Broad replied. "I-it's kind of hard getting them into places, though, especially when there's two, I don't know how easy it'll be with three."

"Oh, I'm sure we'll manage." Ms. Paint assured Nervous Broad.

"I'm hungry," Nepeta commented, hinting at where she wanted to go.

Nervous Broad called Hysterical Dame (not without offering to let Ms. Paint call Spades Slick about Karkat, but Ms. Paint turned down the offer) and Broad announced they'd be picking Dame and Kanaya up from their house. Nepeta cheered excitedly and they were off. Karkat peered back at the house before they turned the corner and it disappeared from sight. Where WAS Slick, anyway? Well... he didn't exactly have much to worry about, he thought to himself. Slick was always disappearing; he was probably out doing something dumb again, but he'd be fine. Slick was always fine.

Hysterical Dame had to sit in the back of the car with Nepeta and Karkat, and Kanaya was perched on Dame's lap. Christ, if Nervous Broad was going to cart everyone around all the time, she would DEFINITELY need a bigger car. Karkat sat impatiently with his arms crossed, sitting right between Nepeta and Dame. Kanaya reached over several times to pat Karkat's hair, just out of curiosity he supposed, but also probably because she was taller than him this way and she wanted to do something with this opportunity. This got Nepeta interested and she began ruffling his hair, and Karkat didn't even hear the plans for their day, as he was fighting off Kanaya and Nepeta at once.

They stopped at a parking lot of a huge building. Karkat stared up at it in wonder, examining a sign that had big gold flashing lights. What did that say? "Cinema", Karkat muttered quietly to himself as he sounded out the word. What the hell was this, and why were they there?

"Ms. Paint?" Karkat pulled at the hem of Ms. Paint's green scarf wrapped around her waist to get her attention. "What's a 'kinema'?"

"I think you mean _cinema,_ honey." Ms. Paint replied with a giggle. "It's a movie theater."

"We're gonna watch a movie?" Karkat asked.

Ms. Paint nodded and scooped him up in her arms. Karkat struggled against her, wanting to walk by himself, but Ms. Paint insisted on carrying him. They made their way inside and instantly Karkat felt and saw eyes staring at him. Instead of struggling now, he shifted closer to Ms. Paint. Kanaya and Nepeta didn't even seem bothered by it. Maybe because they did this often, from the way Nervous Broad and Ms. Paint discussed bringing trolls along with them. It wasn't that Karkat never went in public, it was more that nobody ever even dared look at Spades Slick the wrong way, which could probably be considered even just glancing at him, so Karkat always felt safely concealed from everyone around him. Now, though, all eyes were on them.

Ms. Paint finally set Karkat down when they got to a big counter with employees behind it. He resisted clinging to Ms. Paint and showing weakness, but he did hide from the rest of the world as best he could without making it seem suspicious. Nepeta and Kanaya still didn't even seem fazed.

"Three adult tickets and three kid's tickets to--" Hysterical Dame began, but she was stopped.

"Sorry, ma'am, we don't let _pets_ in here. You're going to have to leave." The worker said, almost sneering at the word "pets". Karkat snarled a little defensively.

"They don't cause much trouble, sir, they'll be quiet." Dame insisted. "We take them out in public all the time, they're always behaved."

"It's against policy. Just can't do it." The man told her. "Please leave the building now and either leave your trolls somewhere and come back without 'em or don't come back."

"S-sir, they really will be quiet--" Broad protested anxiously, but the man interrupted her.

" _We don't. Allow. Pets._ Now please _leave_ before I call security on you!"

Ms. Paint stepped up now. "Sir, these trolls are NOT our pets." She said so strongly, Karkat was surprised by her tone.

Karkat heard the man's sigh accompanied by a clicking noise. "Security, there are three women refusing to take their pets out, they need to be escorted from the building immediately."

"It's just a MOVIE, for Christ's sake!" Dame scoffed, picking up Kanaya and starting on her way out, but the guards stopped her because _obviously,_ she didn't know her way out. Kanaya's ears went back and she huddled close to Dame.

"Do you have a leash for your pet, ma'am?" One of the guards asked Ms. Paint.

"No, he doesn't _need_ a leash!" Ms. Paint growled. The guard reached down and picked up Karkat by the back of his shirt.

As Karkat was choked from being picked up this way, a memory flashed back at him like a flood blocking his perception of what was really going on. He remembered hands wrapping around his neck, choking him, words screamed at him. He struggled, he bit and kicked and screamed. But it still wasn't enough. The hands were stronger than him, strangling him as he struggled for freedom. His neck and lungs burned and ached and his body movements slowed. He was losing consciousness, and he had to do _something_.

Ms. Paint watched as Karkat screamed at the top of his lungs, sobbing and cursing at the guard. The guard attempted to restrain him, but Karkat's teeth found the skin between the shell in the guard's wrist and sunk in deeply. The guard cried out in pain and surprise, nearly dropping Karkat to the ground. Ms. Paint reached for Karkat desperately, but the other guards around had stopped and crowded around to help the first guard. This was far too much just for one little scared troll, wasn't it? Karkat shrieked as he was grabbed by another guard and dislodged from the first one, and another came out of nowhere with a syringe in hand.

"No, stop! Please, he's just scared, you're making it worse!" Ms. Paint exclaimed, pushing and struggling to get to her troll--no, her _child_. This was all because he was a troll, and because they perceived him as this wild animal. He wasn't any different from a little kid, was he? She remembered him sitting there in the apartment, eagerly listening to the lessons and struggling to get everything as right as he could. His handwriting was scrawled across the page, and one could never tell the difference between his and a carapacian's or a human's writing in first grade. He learned the same, he spoke the same, and he was all the same but he was unique. He was her child, and there the guards were, fighting to sedate him.

The guards disregarded her, and they finally managed to get the needle through Karkat's gray skin. A blood curdling screech came from Karkat--it couldn't have hurt THAT bad, but oh dear lord, that pained scream--and he fought to the very last minute of his consciousness. Ms. Paint watched in horror, tears long since flowing down her face. He was _just a little boy_. Was all this seriously necessary for the poor little thing?


End file.
